2HousePlague began his online adult career with Adult Friend Finder. There he made a name for himself in the industry. Mainstream employment led Jack to working the convention scene for AFF. More recently, he's embarked on a new career with a different dating company. Today, he is recognized by all at the shows. He always does his best to ensure that those around him enjoy themselves.
Jack is currently going though a MAJOR occupational change and I wish him the best in his new endeavor.
Pictures complements of Fubar
- check it out for a photo archive of all webmaster events!
GFY Ambush Interview thread on 2HousePlague
How much coke is too much coke?
I'd say addiction and destructiveness are the threshholds of concern. There is a broad spectrum of human behaviors -- eating, drugs, sex, not-eating, dangerous thrill-seeking, drinking, etc -- that can lead a person into harm. At base, it is a loss of control over your relationship with pain. Pain (in all its forms) is a central aspect of the human condition. But, many of us, unfortunately, try to circumvent (and not process) the inescapable, inevitable arrival of painful moments in our lives. Extraordinary life-lessons, I feel very blessed to have received, have permitted me to come into what I would describe as a healthy relationship with the pain in my life. Anyone who knows me, would say that I live my life in a constant struggle to live up to standards that matter to ME -- things like honesty integrity, saying what you mean and doing what you say, etc. I'd like to be judged by the standards and ideals I've decided are important to me, and by how well I've lived up to them.
What's your opinion of people in this industry who say bad and or untrue things about others for their own economic gain?
In that regard, this industry is like every other.
Whether you are the CEO of a company or a lonely little nerd nobody talks to in the playground, people will lie and invent and mischaracterize you and the things you do if:
1. They are weak, intimidated, insecure in their own talents and worth, and...
2. They think it will achieve for them some associative benefit with another party.
What's saddest about this pattern of behavior is that the groups that huddle together in support of the lies spoken about another person or persons are damning themselves to lives of self-loathing and constant paranoia -- the image of rats squirming together in a barrel suits the idea.
I pray for them.
Would you define yourself as a nerd?
"Nerd" -- has two meanings, which, in some people are both true:
1. An academic, a person of intelligence who is passionate about ideas, and...
2. A social misfit, a person who (though perhaps very intelligent -- even "brilliant") lacks the skills to make people feel comfortable around them and to communicate the very ideas about which they may be so passionate.
In my case, I was both #1 and #2 until about the age of 12 -- then I lost my virginity, acquired sexual confidence, and learned that the best possible combination for success is not just having the idea, but also being able to make others excited by it -- and to LOVE you for making them excited.
Why do you live in SF?
I moved to the Bay Area from New York in 1998 -- to take a great job offer at the peak of the Bubble's swollenness.
In the last 6+ years, I have found the SF Bay Area probably the most "correct" place I have ever lived or visited. Something is "right" here in SF that seems lacking just about everywhere else.
I have a theory about the migration pattern of the European influence across the Atlantic, then across this continent.
In the 17th century, when the colonization of "America" may be said to have begun, Europe was at a new height of civilization -- including heights of both artistic, technological and scientific achievement.
In spite of those levels of unprecedented "quality of life" (as measured by the elaborateness of the average European life), a group of people decided to venture into the WILDERNESS, because of their IDEALS.
At that time, the "Wilderness" was the unknown distances across the Atlantic Ocean, and whatever strange lands lay beyond. The prospect was fraught with many unpredictable perils and a high likelihood of death and suffering.
As many of you know about me, I like to look for the science in things that don't seem to contain science.
In the case of the "Pilgrims", I see their departure from Europe (at that time and for that reason) as a kind of Evolutionary "cut", as evidence of the presence of something in THOSE people that was not present in those who stayed in Europe.
Call it what you like, but these people willingly risked EVERYTHING for what they believed.
That was cut #1.
About two hundred years later, after the wilderness had been considerably conquered and civilization had gained a foothold, another group of people (now "Americans") decided to leave the safety and certainty of the East Coast to head WEST, once again, into the WILDERNESS.
This time, the ideological motivations had changed and, combining a sense of OPPORTUNITY with a tolerance for difficulty and adversity, became what is best described as the Pioneering Spirit.
That was cut #2.
On the West Coast, having no more westward WILDERNESS to venture into, civilization once again developed and evolved into cities -- one such is San Francisco.
Now I couldn't tell you why it happened here, but I think that an amazing thing (seen nowhere else on Earth) has happened in San Francisco.
In this great city, we have the unique combination (after two successive evolutionary "cuts") of an extreme form of idealism plus pioneerism in a TRUE CITY, in the European sense.
By city I mean a settled area whose streets and parks and "places" result from the natural movement of humans through its geography and topography -- and not from the movements and necessities of motor vehicles.
As a result, it is a vibrant place occuppied by some of the most evolved and exciting thinkers I have ever met.
Here are two poems I wrote inspired by living in SF and by the people I've met here.
One describes a way of thinking I admire, the other the migratory phenomenon I described above.
Turning out a piece of art,
controversial points of view,
you always do
the things that say to Everyone:
"You're okay, too!"
and make your kids un-anxious,
just like you.
10 May, 2004.
"One Direction of Travel"
Where do we go from here? The West..
is fully occupied. "Civility"
is out of space. And the Idealists
are crying out for Natives to convert.
Nor do the Anarchists
have any wilderness
to shed their clothes and all their common sense.
It feels a bit like Europe! Now...
that we have reached a Coast of sorts,
and face (like the Atlantic, once)
a vast, impenetrable void, again,
what can we do but contemplate
the cities we have built and left,
as if it were our fate?
Do you like fish? Discuss.
I have been an "aquarist" (a keeper of fish) since the age of 10.
My first "tank" experience (versus the doomed goldfish in the bowl experience at the carnival we've all had) was a 10-gallon that came with fish, food, filters and, for me, the promise of a world I could CREATE.
I've kept: sharks, piranhas, discus, african cichlids, rays, puffers, scorpionish, moray eels and hundreds of others, ranging in price from free (caught by me) to over $500 (I once paid for a rare Red Sea butterfly, I just HAD to have).
Here are some pix of tanks I've had...
What job did you have that allowed you to meet the most celebs?
Top secret information or not enough guts to answer the question.
What were you a model for? Actor?
When I was about 17, I was approached by a scout in New York City.
I did some runway and catalog work, then went on a LOT of acting auditions that resulted in very little money, but many, many amazing experiences.
Here too, I met lots of celebrities. I read with Chris Walken (AFTER meeting him at the Airport the first time) and with with Rita Moreno.
I'd say many people think "acting" is making stuff up or pretending.
For me, it is the externalization of interior truth.
Sadly, most people don't know themselves or what's going on inside them emotionally or what to do about it.
My experiences as an actor trained me to keep always open the "pipeline" between what I'm feeling and what my body and face are doing.
In a world filled with deception, duplicity and false-facades, not always a good thing.
But I am what I am.
Talk about your time in the Dominican Republic.
see answer #9
Talk about Isreal's secret service and your interest therein.
Finance was my first "career". After working in investment banking for only 11 months, I had a crisis of conscience.
While unspeakably lucrative for a person in their early 20's, the work was ethically and morally challenging for me on several levels.
At that time, I was also in a relationship with someone who had very specific ideas about what they wanted and when they wanted it.
The money I was making in IB made her happy, but the work was making me miserable.
Another convergent circumstance was that my very best friend, Gil, had just had an emotional breakdown, and I was spending a lot of time with him, trying to make him well.
For our different reasons, we both (Gil and I) found ourselves longing for change. We were both young, idealistic and very cause-oriented.
Gil had "family" I BELIEVE were "associated" with the Israeli intelligence agency -- the Mossad.
I spoke to some of these people and they became interested in us as recruits.
We took steps in that direction, but, ultimately thought better of it, and decided it would be too hard to part from our families in the manner that would have been necessary.
With our trip-zeal fully aroused, we decided, instead, to go to the Dominican Republic in the Caribbean.
As always with the unfolding of life's events, everything that is supposed to happen, does. We found what we were looking for. We did a lot of soul-searching in a beautiful place, and met amazing people -- seekers, as we were.
One such was a beautiful Dominican girl, I met and married on the island.
We were together only a few months, but it figures among the most essential experiences of my life.
What did you do for IBM?
After investment banking and the Dominican republic, I went back to work in Finance -- but this time on the Credit side (large, syndicaed, Fortune 100 loans, for the most part).
Though I did this for a few years (working on the 99th Floor of World Trade Center, Tower 2!) I got bored and decided to combine my affinity for Web technology with my salesmanship.
I took a job in Marketing for IBM, and wound-up writing speeches for Lou Gerstner (including his '96 InternetWorld Keynote) and hawking all kinds of Java “things” that came out of the IBM labs, to the enterprise.
Basically, I would sit down with the programmers and they’d tell me what the code could do, and I’d think up what kind of product to make it into – the marketing, the Web strategy, who the customer was, etc.
My IBM years taught me a lot about how to get things done in large mainstream companies -- something that will prove invaluable in the execution of profitLAB's mission.
Discuss your time with AltaVista.
For working so much on Java things at IBM, I was traveling out to the West Coast more and more, to visit the IBM Java and Sun MicroSystems (Java partner) HQ's, in Cupertino, CA.
My first time staying in San Francisco, I stayed at the beautiful Mark Hopkins Hotel, and a seed was planted.
This was near-peak-size for the DOTCOM Bubble, and the offers I'd been getting (without much interest on my part till then) became more and more interesting when they were connected to Bay Area companies.
I finally accepted a postion with (then) AltaVista subsidiary, Zip2.com. My title was "PR Manager/Marcomm WebMaster". This happened about the same time AltaVista had just been purchased by CMGI.
It was a time of enormous ambitions and unchecked spending (see answer to question 12, below).
One of the first things CMGI did was undertake a floor-to-ceiling revamp of the AltaVista.com search site, creating a Yahoo-esque "portal", instead.
There were also 2 new sites to be built -- Shoppping.com and AltaVistaLIVE.com (a customizable, multimedia news-delivery portal).
They hired USWebCKS for branding and Seattle agency Weiden & Kennedy for the ad campaign, which included 3 spots on the SUPERBOWL!!
Within a month of being hired by Zip2.com, I met Charles Rashall, the brilliant man who'd just been named VP of Marketing. Charles tapped me for his direct team and made me Director of User Experience -- one of those Bubble-esque titles that always left people thinking -- "WTF do you DO?"
Things were so crazy during that time that I had a hand in all sorts of things coming out of the marketing department -- it was a real Dream Team of some of the smartest, most talented, most ambitious people I've ever met.
How did you spend $2 million in one day?
Among the projects I worked on was the info-architecting of the AltaVista.com and Shopping.com sites, creating a branding guideline document for use by all designers in the company, a co-branded credit card and the PR and logistics for the HUGE launch event on October 25th in NYC, to name just a few.
This was the day I oversaw the "burning" of a $2million budget, which included such things as the rental of the Jumbotron in Times Square, the hiring and "motivation" (by me) of 600 actors, the production of more than 4,000 pieces of marketing collateral (ranging in size from a postage stamp to a 9-story banner), a Cirque de Soleil style stage performance we put on for the media and analysts, and a Lauren Hill concert -- yes, we hired her.
Here's the first paragraph of the Launch Day press release I wrote:
"NEW YORK, October 25, 1999 — AltaVista Company today unveiled its plans for enlarging the power of the Internet as a medium for the exchange of knowledge. A dynamic new media MegaPortal, the Web’s most powerful and comprehensive search engine and a revolutionary new approach to online commerce put more within the grasp of users that at any other time in Internet history..."
This was easily one of the most exciting days of my life.
We really pulled off something amazing that the world may never see again.
It's too bad the market lost confidence before we could IPO.
I was a really rich guy for a little while -- on paper.
Why did you get fired for feeding the homeless?
When the bubble burst, I got laid off from AltaVista and, though I must have gone on 100 interviews for "good" jobs, did not earn more than $12/hour for 3 years.
For most of those 3 years, I worked in hotels in the Union Square and Tenderloin areas of San Francisco. The Tenderloin is famous for its large population of homeless people and is proud to boast what I would describe as one of the most humane homeless assistance programs in America.
It's hard to describe or list the many lessons I learned during this time in my life.
I had been an arrogant guy, and found myself carrying bags up flights of stairs for usually no tip.
As you will understand later (below, when I answer 16, 17 and 18), this came after a time of great pain and difficulty for me, during which things I NEVER DREAMED could happen to a person like me happened to me.
Suffice it to say, I was very different, and the lessons penetrated quickly and well.
I happened to be working at this one Hotel (The Olympic in SF), which was, then, owned by a woman with messed up views about people and the differences between them.
Though her hotel was undeniably in a "seedy" neighborhood, she was in denial. She spent all this money trying to attract a certain kind of guest, though many times I saw taxi cabs carrying "desirable guests" roar off in confusion and consternation when they realized the hotel did NOT resemble the picture on the Web site
I encouraged her, instead, to embrace the LOCAL community and make her hotel a more welcoming place to a different kind of customer.
By then, I had noticed what kinds of customers not only came through the door without looks of horror on their faces, but also left happy and satisfied with the accomodations.
To her, they all looked like criminals though they had CC's that cleared or paid cash in advance.
She had the good sense to hire a General Manager for the hotel who understood what I was up to.
He was the one counting the money made on the nights I worked.
But, too bad for silly Ms. M., she never followed my advice, and soon fired the GM that got it.
Left without an advocate at the Hotel, M. both wanted to expand my role, but also to force me to pursue business in the way she thought was best -- though it was OBVIOUSLY NOT WORKING.
She hired spies to check in on me during the night shift, then fired me because I was seen giving stale donuts to the homeless.
I guess you already know what happened to Ms. M. -- she was forced to sell the Hotel to a big company, very soon after I left.
The good news is, I hear her that "idle retirement" has finally afforded her the opportunity to enjoy the exclusive company of the people with which she so desperately longed to rub elbows at the Hotel.
Though I was delighted with the consequences of this separation for myself, this is still a sad, sad story of the needless waste that results whenever employers can't/won't recognize the value and intelligence and (otherwise unavailable) insight into a market that a very special employee candidly offered them.
Why do you refer to your mom as a 'spiritual explorer'?
As I think is the case with most sons, my mother was the most influential person in my life.
She was also a beautiful, brilliant woman, a poet and the most generous person I ever met.
She was flawed and broken, but loved completely and unconditionally.
Here are she and my dad, circa 1960...
They parted when I was 1 year-old, and she spent the rest of her life single.
Among the pursuits to which she did give her attention was the discovery of spiritual truth.
She experimented with many belief systems, including Afro-Caribbean Santeria, Spiritism (possession) and White Voodoo.
All I'm going to say about it is that, while growing up, I got to see things that prepared my mind for the discoveries and challenges of my adult life.
My mother was the very thing that I want to be, though I know it is very, very dangerous.
She was a lightning rod -- an attractive object placed at a dizzy height, to draw down bolts from the heavens.
Victoria Mardach* died on February 11th, 2000 -- a year whose arrival she strangely dreaded. I should have, too.
How did you get your B.S. at age 19?
I started early and with a lot of AP credits to my name.
Talk about your time in Egypt.
see answer #18
How did you meet the love of your life?
see answer #18
Discuss falling off a cliff in Yosemite.
I went back to New York for the first time after 9/11 in June of 2004. For me, it was also the first visit since I was there last in 10/1999.
All I can say about the events that happened in my life between July, 1999 and December 2002 is...
When I visited my Stricken City, the place where I had lived so long, I measured the changes in myself, I measured the changes in New York...
I decided we had been equally traumatized, since we'd last met.
This is a vast story with many, many strange turns. The only way it makes sense to tell it here (for attempting to encompass ALL of it) is with bullets.
But before the list of bullets, it is important to know the themes of the lesson learned:
1. Thou shalt not exert thy will ABOVE the will of others.
2. There are no short-cuts -- go through it this time, or start all over again.
3. Don't try to rudder from your head, "listen", instead for the direction you should go.
And now the bullets...
I culminate a life-long tradition of selfish acts by leaving a woman who loves me, whom I have told I love her, because she is not intellectually my equal.
I follow the prospect of "that WANTED love" from IBM to Venezuela to San Francisco.
She freaks out for my willingness to come so far.
I am alone (in a new place).
I go on more than 200 online dates.
I meet the one who changes everything in one night.
She freaks out for my willingness to go so far.
I am alone (in a strange place).
I go on more than 300 online dates.
I make a really bad mistake.
I meet Lauren, the love of my life.
I try to "run away".
I can't get away.
I pay for my mistake (and the love of my life pays with me).
We catch a break (conditional upon growing up).
For as long as I can remember, whenever things got to be too much for me, I have crawled into my bed and wished that I were dead.
I don't do that anymore. I couldn't begin to tell you how to get there. But something definitely happened to me, and things were never the same after that.
I found all the evidence I needed to convince me that there IS a purpose, and there IS a reason for everything that happens.
Define it any way like -- I WON'T OBJECT TO YOU. But, offer me the occasional indication that you see me as much as I see you.
This is what I looked like JUST BEFORE... pix
What's your opinion on rehab centers and corporate responsibility to take care its employees?
My understanding of such facilities is that they are appropriate to those persons who have forgotten the value of their lives, or who have permitted others to convince them the value is small.
"Corporate Responsibility" is a strange-sounding term.
Let's consider its two components, separately...
1. "Corporate" , as in coporation, from the Latin "corpus", meaning body.
In order to be "corporate" a thing must be integrated, it must be permitted to occupy a place of importance and vitality within the body. Otherwise, it is merely a wart, with neither expectation of ever being welcomed into the body, nor possibility.
2. "Responsibility" , from the French "repondre", meaning to respond. It is the social force that binds you to your obligations and the courses of action demanded by that force.
Since responsibility is a social (subjective) rather than moral (absolute) force, I preserve my right to invest allegiance and compliance ONLY in those societies that I agree with and that welcome me.
I acknowledge no force of responsibility greater than my righteous refutation of it.
Ok, talk about the bird thing... You know....
Oh, this is SOOOO silly.
There isn't ONE sane person I've asked about this who said it was anything other than the funniest thing they'd ever seen.
I think people reflect their own sad sexual distortions on anything that threatens their feelings of safety and compliance.
Judge for yourselves... AMANANDABIRD
Why online adult dating?
Before I answer, I want to apologize if at any moment my answer sounds arrogant or self-inflated. It is difficult for me to speak about things I truly believe in and feel I understand, without becoming a bit of a bully.
The answer to your quesiotn is "Because I was born to do it."
>From the beginning of my life, I felt as if a "strange technology" had somewhow interfered with my in-utero brain and created a handicap of communication in me.
I always felt like I was speaking in a foreign language, or that the people I was talking to were either not listening or could not hear me.
I don't know what "normal" is, but I reacted to the impression that I could not be understood by going inside my head. I spent most of my time in there, speaking very little, and perfecting a language of silent facial expressions, with which I achieved great conveyances of meaning.
I became a weird little kid, who terrified drunks and readily befriended retards and the insane.
For "dropping out", as it were, from the Constant Cackle of human drivel, I was able to consider the essential ways in which human beings connect.
I watched bodies move in their infinitessimally subtle ways, I watched pupils dilate, I trained my nose to detect arousal/interest, and I became a sexual pianist. I realized that Essential Connection lay not in the words or the circumstances, but in the manipulation of words and circumstances to connective ends.
I've been on about 500 online dates. I'm really, really good at it. It's not because I'm wily or clever or deceptive or coy -- but because I have discovered the ways in which this medium can be used to seduce.
I have a vision for the ways in which the Web can expand and improve on human interaction. I feel it in my bones. I know it's right.
Over the short-term, we'll be making some changes to the SexSearch.com site, intended to push it in the direction of a more interactive, live, real-time interaction model.
Those of you interested in a more architectural discussion of this evolutionary pathway, should pick up the May issue of AVN Online -- and look for my article:
"Peer to Peer Pornogrpahy"
How many conventions did you attend a year - do you plan on attending now?
My first was Atlanta, last year, and we have almost come full circle.
So far a distance has been traveled, in fact, that I cannot think of them as "conventions" anymore, in the original business sense.
So many of you have become my friends, and in such meaningful ways, that I cannot separate the business that we do together from the pleasure of your company.
Over the next few months, I will continue to make the circuit of the shows we know and love. But I will also be venturing more and more OUTSIDE Adult, to do the work and build the GREAT BRIDGE it is my vision to create.
What kind of porn turns you on?
The short answer is -- "Porn in which people are being themselves".
The voyeur delights in the detection of hidden truth. There is a "penetrative" thrill in seeing others as they are/would be when having sex.
When I was about 15 years old, I found a Polaroid photograph under the tire of a car.
The image was grainy, and the photograph, itself, had been defiled by the tortures of the street.
But, it was clearly a picture of my 20-something, ruddy-nippled, gap-toothed, swarthily-slim neighbor from across the street.
It had, clearly, been taken by someone who was either just about to fuck her, or had just fucked her.
I could see that in her face.
For having "some" connection to the model, for the sordid condition of the conveying medium (a run-over Polaroid print), and for the transferability of a prior fantasy into the forms of the "available porn", I must have jerked off to the thing over 1,000 times.
This is good...
What kind of car do you drive? Own house / condo?
We don't own a car, right now.
We rent a flat in Nob Hill that looks like this (through the bottom of an old Italian Glass ashtray)...
Ever had an STD?
I think I'm pretty clean, but I've been lucky.
What's the longest period of time you've stayed awake without sleep?
Talk about translation work and what it entails.
As a theme, "translation" recurs throughout my life.
It seems I've always been concocting and deciphering Bridges of Understanding between "places" that, otherwise, could not connect.
I am a math tutor. I "interpret" technology on behalf of theoretical users.I do not respect boundaries of dogma or conventional thinking that tend to keep things separate.
I speak from a place of basic intent, which only becomes meaning upon the ear of the listener. The Translator, for speaking both languages, stands between disparate realms.
In that space BETWEEN langauges, where words shed their superficial adornments and become merely "slugs" of purposive communication, you will find the (quite extraordinary) freedom to stand astride ANY line you please and pass things between the places that line holds apart.
Here is an example of speaking a language BETWEEN things:
Is Communism a Religion?
What was the worse relationship you were ever in?
I think that's always the same answer for everybody -- the worst one is the BEST one that's OVER.
This was one was REALLY SMART, and her morality was all her own.
I wrote this about her brain:
Brain Report: No. M-7
Subject: B****, S****** L***
Subject Gender: Female
Estimated IQ: 165-180
Subject Age During Experience: 34
The evident mechanism of her thinking did not evoke pictures of an anatomically normal brain. Instead of the usual materia gris (with all its lobes and hemispheres, corpuses and meatuses), her smallish and pretty skull seemed rather to house a creature of altogether inscrutable alienness.
I have no picture of my own brain. That is an impossible perspective. But the thoughts of others usually appear to me as flashes of light, as tiny "pops" happening all over the surface and interior of their brains. The greater or lesser intelligence of a brain is visible in the overall "liveliness" of the activity (the frequency and extensiveness of the flashing), and by the presence of eccentric and interesting sequences of flashing, which mark the unlikely paths of truly exotic thoughts.
Like none other in my experience, this subject's brain was of an order which seemed to refute and refuse any anatomically deconstructive scrutiny, and, more startlingly, suggested even the obsolescence of such an approach. The only "symbolic picture" of her mind I could see was both beautiful and terrifying, strange and emminently seductive.
Instead of a normal brain's pulpy grey mass, the inside of Ms. B****'s skull was, in my mind's eye, home to a strange plant-like florification, which extended from the top-most end of the spinal stalk.
"Plant-like" is merely a gross approximation of its physical appearance. For this was no inanimate palm frond, though it was branched and articulated to resemble one. The frond inside her skull was in perpetual, oscillating movement. And after appreciating this phenomenon for only a short while, I realized any comparisons to plant-life had become descriptively useless.
Alive, it rather seemed a creature from unfathomable oceanic depths, an unknown Echinoderm from pre-history (genus Gorgonocephalus), or a fabulous fore-glimpse of Evolution's future.
In the creature's movements, there was a way to divine something of the workings of her mind. For it was very much like a basket starfish, "blooming" events of contraction and expansion all over its body, which would then die-out in ever-smaller circles, within the clutchings of ever-smaller tentacles.
Stimulation came into her brain just as plankton comes to a hungry basket starfish, seeming to drift or shoot in from all directions, to be ferociously embraced and devoured. My words would fall into that writhing mass. And I could see them being so captured and consumed. At times, a fragment I had given would be taken hungrily within, only to be liltingly caressed for days by the smallest and most dexterous of her fibers. At times, my offering was rather like a fine dust I had blown over her, occasioning a blissful shudder which passed in waves over her entire body. At times, I simply sat and watched how this fantastic creature digested its food and distributed nourishment throughout its secret systems.
There seemed to be an ever-inward progression to this process of "consumptive knowing". It was fantastically busy, but in-fed by the cosmos' own musical pulses -- quite a marvel to behold! A machine enclosing a perpetual cataclysm of data.
I could see captured fragments of information being worn smaller and smaller by the worrying of the primary tentacles, only to be passed as smaller and smaller bits to ever-finer sub-tentacles. Grains of sand so became atoms, which in turn became sub-atomic particles, to be handed over to the next smaller size of tentacle, and disappear!
All of this seemed to have the capacity to go on forever. As if the fruits of her analysis and contemplation could never be exhausted. The more closely I inspected her, the more intricate she became. Every increase in the magnification of my lens exposed a deeper, more hidden, more indecipherable level of activity, along with the terrifying knowledge that I could go deeper still.
There is a way to see, even the simplest of things, very deeply. There is a way to apprehend phenomena, given to an almost apocalyptic tendency to destroy one surface, only to reveal yet another surface, and another...
It was this apparently limitless capacity to give attention, and to ceaselessly reap the benefits of that attention, which led me to describe the most salient quality of S***** B****'s intellect thusly:
She has "... infinite fractal curlicues of understanding."
What kind of inheritance did you get? Where did it go?
My mom died in February, 2000.
I got laid off from AltaVista in May, 2000. And each "ending" left me with a demi-lump of cash.
I never expected it would be THREE YEARS before I made decent money again. So Lauren and I blew through it (on rent, food, denial, etc.) in about 4 months.
My little "Egyptian Adventure" alone was about $15,000.
What life lessons did you learn working in seedy hotels 2 years ago?
I covered some aspects of this question already, in question # 13.
But there was also a very meaningful BUSINESS LESSON I learned during those 3 years behind a front desk -- the Service Ethic.
Many different service jobs can expose you to large numbers of people every day.
But a hotel is special for the breadth of people you meet, and for the fact that they are coming to you at a moment when they are hoping to be TAKEN CARE OF, HOSTED, MADE TO FEEL WELCOME.
I worked with some people at the hotel (and certainly we've all encountered them) who, for whatever reasons of temperament and personality, just CAN'T be nice to people who ask them for something.
I guess it makes them feel lower.
But I realized I could do so much (both for the guest and for myself) by just smiling, meeting eyes with them, letting them know "I see you. You ARE a person."
This was especially powerful when the person was not expecting to be well-received.
You should see the way their eyes would light up when they realized I wasn't judging or presuming anything about them.
Seeing the reaction made me feel good, too.
During my three years behind the desk, I cultivated that in myself.
I learned to treat EVERYONE I meet with respect, consideration and attention.
In my current career (in THIS industry), that ability has made an incredible difference.
After Friend Finder, how many online adult dating career opportunities were available or presented to you? How many outside of the adult online dating community?
Even the word "blessed” is not enough to convey how I feel about the people I have met in this industry.
The non-Adult industrial world is filled with smart people who make a lot of money.
But, to be honest with you, money for its own sake is not so satisfying or interesting to me.
What has struck me most unexpectedly about the Captains of Adult I have been so fortunate to meet and befriend is that they are NOT the “lawless bandits” we seem from the outside.
I think all of that may have been true once.
But, the industry today has come into the hands of a new generation – they are both smarter, as regards the technology and the medium, and savvier, as regards the precarious position we are in, against the backdrop of the rest of the commerce universe.
To answer your question, my dear, dear friend, Scott, I had NO offers, not one – but I had numerous conversations in place with numerous friends.
The kind of new opportunity I was looking for could not be sought on Monster.com, or even in the classifieds of our industry’s trades.
I was looking to find someone whose clarity of purpose and intensity of ambition were as great as my own.
I was also looking for someone who was as excited by the opportunity to improve the human condition in a networked world as they were by the enormity of the commercial opportunity.
I found all of that in Adam Small. Adam and I met as rivals, insofar as his company is a threat to my former company.
But, as I have explained above, I don’t let my expectations control my perceptions. Adam and I kept running into each other at conventions, and I think he was surprised, at first, by my desire to talk with him. I think he was even more surprised when I made it clear I wasn’t trying to draw him in to take things from him.
Though we never spoke for more than a few minutes, and only at conventions, we became friends.
This was possible only because we made it clear to each other that we both had the complexity and strength of character to BE friends, even though we had the jobs we had.
Long before I had directly experienced his intellect and his talents, I liked him and I respected him as a man.
As our dialogue became richer and more full of trust, of course I became aware of his genius, but even more striking was how similar our paths had been to get where we are.
Like me, Adam started in Finance. We both made a lot of money really young and realized it had to be about more than just money.
>From Finance, I went to help turn IBM’s ship into the Internet opportunity.
Adam went to start his own Internet company, with both a sincere desire to SERVE and a winning BUSINESS MODEL.
We both succeeded in our respective objectives, then we both turned our interest on the same thing – the nexus of Old School Blue Chip Business and the Uncharted Waters of Web-based revenue models. I went to work for AltaVista, Adam for Yahoo.
Inside each of those two companies was happening what was happening nowhere else in the world – we were perfecting the art of alchemizing traffic into money.
In ultimate pursuit of that new, mysterious art, where we could we go but Adult?
And because it is in PERSONALS (in the models we will yet conceive and build for connecting people online) that the greatest power to effect change lies, we are both in personals.
And because it is through sex, and only through sex (and I mean the good healthy, get yours, I love you and all that you are! kind of sex) that we may lead the species into a greater acceptance of our differences, we are both working in SEX.
I hope I’ve made it abundantly clear, by the forthcomingness of all the answers I have given above, that I have nothing to hide.
My grandmother taught me: “If you want to be trusted, you must begin by trusting.”
Tell me, is that FOOLISH in this industry?
I hope not – because I intend to trust and collaborate and share, because the cake we are all about to be served is so large and so rich that to do anything but COLLABORATE to get it would be selfishness in its most costly and most stupid form.
Here is the only OFFER I received that appealed to me – it’s called FRIENDSHIP.
Thanks, Adam – you rock!
I told Scott (SleazyDream) that I had no "taboo" areas of enquiry, that he could feel free to ask me whatever about whatever.
He is a friend, and it was EXTREMELY important to me that I comprise neither his personal integrity nor the integrity of the Ambush Interview Institution.
I want it understood that, although it would be SOOOOO easy for me to do so, I'm not reaching out to any of my friends right now and asking them to post questions that might serve my agenda.
I respect them too much for that.
I've put myself up here voluntarily because I want to show everyone that you can be true to yourself and win, without fucking other people, calling in "icky" favors, or otherwise being a sneaky, slithering creature.
I will answer any questions, but you must tell me what your interest in the matter is and how you came by any "givens" you wish to be accepted as such.
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