Tassy
More than just a pretty face with amazing boobs, Tassy exploded onto the adult online scene a little over a year ago. Today she's known to all who are serious in the biz. She started as a model for Flashcash and moved on to the behind the scenes work as well. She has an amazing background and has worked her way to the top. Definately someone you WANT to get to know. Ambush is a good place to start.
Pictures complements of Fubar - check it out the photo archive of all webmaster events!
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GFY Ambush Interview thread on Tassy
Question #1
Are the Pink hair and fake boobs a cry for attention and way to lash out cause you arn't following what your were university trained to be?
hmmm, this appears to be a 5 part question but i'll try to summarize my response in one compact little paragraph: no and no. i've had pink hair for 4 years now and implants of one variety or the other for 3 years. i had pink hair before i had implants, but i don't really see them as related at all, outside of them both being decorations for this temple that i call my body. i'm hulled up in this space of flesh and bone for a good 30 to 100 years now, so i figure i should decorate as i see fit. i feel like i use my university training in every aspect of my life, so i don't see it as a waste, nor that i didn't follow it. psychology and understanding human behaviour have been invaluable tools in life. that being said, i certainly don't mind the attention that pink hair & fake boobs bring, i look at it all as an opportunity to educate others. it's sort of like the super cool version of jehovah's witnesses, only i don't have to go door to door to spread my message, people come up and ask; just like this. =D
Question #2
Naughty Allie wants to know if you're willing to have sex with her on film for everyone to see? Can Jake and Hal join in? Swapping?
yes, yes, yes and yes, providing Daddy says it's all okay.
Question #3
Talk about your career as a nurse? Ever sexually assault any hot patients?
sadly, i can safely say never had any hot patients. i worked in two (2) facilities as a proper nurse, first at a small 96 bed nursing home for Alzheimer's patients and otherwise debilitated geriatric patients. i worked in the unit for patients with the highest levels of combativeness, furthest along in their disease progression, and needing the most assistance. my favourite patient was hubert huff, who - though he couldn't speak in sentences or really many audible words, was clear in his motives and direction. he would sit next to me while i told him stories and he would start with his hand on my knee and try to get his fingers inside my scrub top "on the sly" - which for him was near impossible as he was slow to move and he shook as his arms moved. i always knew what he was doing before he got to it and i'd often say, "mr. huff are you trying to get a look down my top?!" in shock, and he'd get a big toothless grin on his face. i think that's the closest to anything sexually related to my nursing work. the second facility i worked in - University of Washington Medical Center, was the teaching hospital attached to the college i graduated from in Seattle. i worked in the step down unit of the ICU, responsible for 4-8 patients typically at a time. (this is a lot for one nurse). i sometimes worked in the actual ICU and would be responsible for 2 patients at a time, also a high load, considering the level of care these patients needed. all of my patients were either dying, had come close to dying, had been clinically dead and reborn, or had some sort of terminal illness that was killing them and my job was to make their time in the institution of the hospital as comfortable as possible. it was really hard. i cried almost every morning as i rode my bike home from work (i worked swing shift). sometimes i had fun (crazy) patients, like the young punkster who was in stepdown because she drank antifreeze in a mock suicide attempt (a pretty good way to try), and her rock boyfriend who came to visit her and tried to hump her in her gurney bed. also, learning to take care of dead people and to the hospital morgue was a great experience. it creeps some people out but i feel like it really helped clarify a lot of things for me about death, dying, the logistics of it, etc. i volunteered in the burn unit of a local hospital when i was in high school before i got my LPN license and this also taught me some pretty serious lessons about how lucky i am versus how much worse things could be for me. scraping the dead skin off a charred burn-victim while they cry in pain really puts things in perspective for ya.
Question #4
Did you foul mouth come from your time working as a truck driver?
foul mouth, moi? i think my foul mouth may have just been an earlier symptom of what was to come, including truck driving school and driving truck. while i was attending college at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo i got bored and decided that since i liked roadtripping so much, why wouldn't truck driving be an obvious career option? my grandfather had done it, so why shouldn't i? at that point i already owned and knew how to fire various guns, so the "girl all alone on the road in a man's world" thing never scared me. so i went to truck driving school and drove for a small trucking copany for a little bit to pay back the school's cost. ultimately i used this skill to start my own video/lighting/transport company for bands going on tour, but that comes up in a later question.
Question #5
. What the fuck is a NOC monkey for eOffering and IT admin for LAN Research?
basically a NOC monkey in the trade floor environment is the person who gets a pager strapped to them and phone calls at all and any hours of the day/night to come in for a large trade floor operation like eOffering, eTrade, Bank of America, Wells Fargo, etc. and make sure that the systems are up and running properly for each coming days' trade transactions. this was a very stressful job, but at the time also a very lucrative one. i grossed $90K that year and i didn't even have a college degree, and i barely had a high school one. IT admin for LAM Research was similarly techy and geeky. i installed and monitored the company's apache web server and their FreeBSD servers. LAM Research etched wafers. i thought that i did a perfectly good job working behind a computer and not having to actually interact with anyone because this way i was in charge of my job, my fuck ups, and all of the aftermath - whether good or bad. there were no unknowns, but i became a total hermit. i am still something of a hermit today, i prefer beach walks at home to loud clubs at night.
Question #6
How did you get kicked out of catholic school? Was it sexually realted?
it wasn't sexually related unless you want to see me at the age of 6 biting another girl (age 7) in my school as sexual. we were in third grade, she wanted me to give her my lunch so she pulled my (then) to-my-butt brown braided pigtails, and i bit her arm in response. apparently my arm-biting left a mark, and hair-pulling does not, so i was cited as the problem child and expelled from st. joachim's catholic school; not to worry, i re-entered the catholic school system for high school later. i was also kicked out of brownie's that year for biting another participant. i had a big issue with biting when i was a kid, i used it as my way of getting people to notice me, pay attention to me, or to give me what i wanted. i'm a very oral person, this hasn't changed yet - though i don't bite Halcyon.
this seemed rather schoolgirlish to me, so i thought it went well with the above question. big thanks to amelia g of blueblood.net who shot this photo and the entire set available on barelyevil.com & pinkgasm.com. i wore a uniform the first two years and the third year they changed the rules to a rather odd grouping of constraints on what types of "street wear" were okay and which were not. because i didn't see the educational lack of value in wearing blue jeans i spent almost my entire junior year in detention after school. i also wrote dirty things all over my backpack and they made a new rule about no writing on backpacks thanks to me. at least someone changed someone's mind, somewhere. sadly, even this was progress.
Question #7
Talk about speaking in sign language.
my mother learned it in college as a hobby, and then she made me learn it along with her as she progressed in college. (she had me young, and went back for her Masters in Nursing later as well.) when i went to my private catholic high school i was required to do 160 hours of community service work in an approved area with the school. most of the approved/recommended things were through a catholic church, which i did not belong to. i ended up doing a fair amount of volunteering at DCARA (Deaf Counseling And Referral Agency) and their bookstore for hard of hearing, deaf, and blind clients. i went on weekend silent retreats where i could only use sign language, sometimes i would be paired up with a client who needed assistance - like a deaf/blind man who needed my help in walking from place to place and needed my hands literally in his while i signed, so that he could *read* what i was *saying* (signing). my mother mimicked these silent weekends in our home in an endeavor to keep my sign language skills sharp and fresh. i haven't used sign language in a long time, i've had some retail positions where it came in handy, and the fact that i've lost 50% of my hearing in one of my ears begs the question of whether i will eventually lose it entirely. so perhaps it was a "hobby" i learned early on that will become a life tool later. remains to be seen.
Question #8
What was the richest (money wise) you ever were in your life? Poorest? Discuss
it's easier to see when i was the poorest, in both money and spirit: when i moved away from home i was 16, i moved into a welfare housing situation with two girls that were (in my opinion) not old enough and not smart enough and not selfless enough to have children, but between the two of them they had 3 babies. i moved in with them to start on my way to independence from *my* mom; i babysat their children and took care of them day in and day out while these two went to various government buildings and fought custody battles, filled out paperwork, waited in long lines, and had meetings with lawyers. neither one was gainfully employed, so they paid me in foodstamps and cartons of Marlboro Reds. this was the poorest i'd ever been on my own. i'm certain growing up with my mother, we were just as poor at times, but i was the kid, so at the time i didn't really understand why we had no door on our apartment, it just was. when was i richest? in money, in the dot com era. i was right out of high school with no college degree yet and companies were willing to pay me ridiculous hourly wages that included time and a half and double time pay for extra hours. i knew nannying wasn't going to make me millions, so i started looking at my tech-tinkering hobbies as possible job inlets. (see above answer about NOC monkeying around). i had way more money than i should have at that age (around 19). i bought recording equipment and music gear for my band and didn't have much to show for all the money i made once i settled on a college. luckily i only had to take out one small student loan thanks to my manic computer work lifestyle. but my richest moments in life are those where i am most at peace with everything around me. the things that i interact with, things that act towards me, my method of going *with* the Flow, instead of consistently trying to force the Flow of my Path in the direction i *think* it should be going. i should know better by now, i am happiest (read: rich) when i stop pushing pieces to fit, and they just fall into place. if i went broke tomorrow i'd still be rich in the wealth of my life right now.
i feel overwhelmed with the richness of my life when i look at pictures like this:
...and this one too. this is from the first weekend i met Halcyon, i can still feel the love captured in this picture today. who says love at first sight isn't real? pushaw!
Question #9
Talk about getting your pilot's licence.
o be the person in charge of flying the plane; that would make me more comfortable. so with some of my disposable dot com bucks i decided to invest in a flight instructor, renting a plane for lesson time, and paying for airplane gas. i ran out of money and dot com jobs before i had time to finish my private license at that point so i had to put it on hold until i moved to arizona later, where i would ultimately finish my private pilot's VFR certification. i never got my IFR. i learned how to fly single-engine aircraft, and was signed off on the Cessna 152, 172, 152-R, 172R. i am no longer current, but have dreams about flying my own jets and such one day. i am still a tomboy, i swear. a pink-haired one. with fake boobs. the best kind, really.
Question #10
What did you take in your university degree? Discuss this time in your life.
my college years were much longer than planned. actually, now that i think about it, there really wasn't a plan, outside of a vague goal to finish my 4 year degree...sometime. i moved a lot and switched community colleges based on where i lived to fill credits that could be filled for less money through them. when i did have money i was spending it on band equipment and wheels to get me to and from my jobs, schools, and band practices/shows. i spent more time focusing on getting record contracts than feeling it was important to settle into one school and follow the socially acceptable path of college curriculum. i also spent most early mornings surfing, or late afternoons if i couldn't get a morning session in.i started out wanting to go to film school, so i applied at San Francisco State University before i'd even left high school, trying to find a way to get out early without having to attend a community college. that plan didn't work so it was a long road until i finally ffinished my college education at University of Washington, Seattle. i received my Bachelor of Science degree in Psychology with a minor in Genetics. i really, really, really liked college. i always said (and if anyone is around who can hook this up i still say) i'd like to go to school professionally and get paid for it. in high school i was "the bad seed" who always got detention for "undue affection in public" and wearing blue jeans and writing things like "scoobydoo on acid, molly my sweet slut" on my backpack. in college i was in charge of my schedule, my plan, my studying, my clothing, my time - and i thrived on it. i was a 4.0 student.
Question #11
How did you meet Hal? Discuss in detail.
Everyone here is familiar with the term 'glory hole' right? JUST KIDDING.
i met Halcyon in person for the first time ever the weekend of 2004's Santa Monica Webmaster Access event. this was also my first gig in adult. he hired me as a model for the show, and it would be the first time we met, had sex, and ultimately fell in love. he and i had been talking online since april or so of that year, because we had mutual acquaintances who told us both "you have to meet this girl/guy, she/he is the male/female version of you!" we ultimately met & started chatting through an online pink-hair community, meant for sharing dye tips and photos of your 'do - but we quickly realised that we were matched rather equally when we were the only ones in the community sharing pictures of our pink pubes, too. we met that weekend, did the show together, had a threesome or two that first weekend, and then - quite unexpectedly - we both fell in love. suddenly i didn't crave a threesome, or more partners. i didn't need something "more extreme" to make this connection interesting and fun; i didn't feel like there had to be a woman involved for this to "get good." i couldn't believe it: not only had i fallen in love but i'd done it a.) with a man and b.) almost instantly. both of these things were fairly unheard of for me up until this point. i knew for sure when we finished having our first night of passionate, sweaty, exhausting sex together, that he was the one for me when he came back to the bed after leaving me in my pile of post-orgasmic bliss with a copy of The Big Lebowski in hand and left over pancakes from our brunch earlier that day. pancakes at midnight and the big lebowski have been an integral part of our lives ever since. here's a short video clip from a blog post by Halcyon that i think explains what i'm trying to type up here nicely: "There is seriously nothing more erotic than seeing your girlfriend playing with nude photos of the two of you in Photoshop…making groaning noises…while The Big Lebowski is on in the background."
Question #12
What the fuck is porn school and why did you go?
wait, i thought everyone wanted to learn how to be a porn star? no? ok, so i guess it's becoming more apparent to me through this ambush that i am not your average pink-haired, fake boobed bear. now there's a visual for ya... porn school took place in jamaica, while Halcyon & i were contestants on the adult reality show reality x - the search for adam & eve. once we got through the auditions in las vegas we were shipped to jamaica to compete against 13 other people for a contract with adam & eve to make movies and $10K in cash. there. adult film director kelly holland put us through porn boot camp, teaching us the essentials like how to open up for the camera while you're having sex to get the best shot for the viewer. she taught us the importance of the "FIP" or "Fake Internal Pop" in movies that have both hardcore and softcore versions, the FIP being used for softcore - and how to make your FIP look real. it was amusing and sadly disillusioning at the same time. most of my work in adult has just confirmed for me the fakeness that i'd always wondered about as a surfer myself, and this "reality" show we were on was no different. it also taught me just how hard it is to really be a porn star. turning it on and off like a switch, all the while performing like a champ in front of a room full of people and hot lights baring down on you - well, it's just not as sexy as it once might have seemed in my dreams to "be in porn." someone telling me to give a blow job on command might be a turn on, but only in the proper context. i learned that i wasn't built to be an actor. i can't turn on and turn off my sexuality or my reactivity or perceptiveness to a sexual situation. i *really really* hope people are able to see me in my moments of sexual frenzy, but i'm not going to be able to time it for the cameras. in some ways this was a disappointment, in others a welcomed enlightenment. i knew i wasn't supposed to fake it to teach others, i knew there had to be some other way.
Question #13
Are you a nymphomaniac? How often do you get tested for STDs? Discuss your thoughts and practices with safe sex.
in and behavior by a female." if i took a poll of past lovers i'd say over 90% said i was more to way more sexual a woman than they were ever used to. this is why masturbation has always been my best friend. living without it sort of seems like going without a shower. i *could* do it, but i wouldn't feel right about it after awhile, and i'd probably eventually get sick. :P i got tested with Halcyon when we met, we also were tested for the adam & eve reality show. i'll be honest, i'm not a big fan of the condom. but then, up until recently, i wasn't a very big fan of men. i've been regularly tested since i became sexually active and i think if you're going to be with someone you don't know is going to be monogamous you should either use those condoms or prepare for the risk of some STD. some people decide it's worth the risk because they feel they'd go through their lives forever with that person regardless. that's a choice you have to make. my primary policy is honesty. and open communication. you don't know what's going on if no one's talking about it.
Question #14
Did you take shop class in school cause you're a nymphomaniac?
yes, that's exactly it. don't you know you get the most game if you're a girl tinkering around with cars? this is one of those things that made all the girls in my catholic school think i was definitely a.) a lesbian and b.) weird and made all the guys think a.) she's a lesbian and i can't have her or b.) she's a lesbian and it's my job to hound her until she hits me over the head with a wrench or has sex with me, changing her lesbian ways. i wasn't very popular...in high school. but i did get my 1967 mustang's old broken 289 hi-po engine out and replaced with a 351cleveland before the shop class was over. but then i started working and commuting and driving everywhere and suddenly 8 miles per gallon wasn't enough anymore.
Question #15
What's with the obsession with boobs?
what's not to be obsessed with? i’ve always had a love for bigger breasts. i blame my first girlfriend ever, in high school - who had a 30FF sized bra, to go with her hourglass style hips. i loved laying with her in bed, sleeping with my nose nuzzled between her massive mammaries. at that time she wanted a redux and i wanted implants and we used to joke that we’d go in to see the surgeon together and have her fat transplanted into my breasts to save money. of course, i think we determined at some point that this wasn’t pheasible, but this didn’t stop me from wanted my own set of voluptuous sex toys attached to my chest. i saved my money, but it wasn’t before more than a decade that i’d have my wish. i had my first breast surgery in july of 2003. i love them - i loved my boobies before the surgery, but i loved them as a tool to turn me on even more so after. i’d close my eyes when i masturbated and just feel the shape of them against the palm of my hand. i still love boobies of all sizes and shapes, especially when they’re attached to sexy women. i love implanted breasts, and natural breasts. i love boobs that have fed babies, and tiny titties too. i love sagging boobies and high round fake ones. as peter griffin would say, “i’m addicted to boobies!” for me, i think it’s more about breasts as an ultimate unique identifier to women. when i think breasts i think female.
Question #16
How old were you when you lost your virginity? Is it true your mom taught you how to give a blowjob?
i was 15 when i lost my virginity to a "man". he was 19, i think and he was the friend of a friend who's house i'd run away to. i remember i spent the whole night purposefully trying to imply that i was *not* a virgin, because i'd heard him say he didn't want to have to show any virgin girls the ropes. he was not well-endowed and it still hurt. later, i'd use he and his two brothers for penis action when i felt i needed it without the commitment. the oldest of them was 26 and participated in my first threesome with my first girlfriend a little later. i'd already lost my virginity to a girl two years earlier, which is to say i'd gone down on her, she'd gone down on me, we'd manually stimulated each other. i know it doesn't sound as sexy this way but i'm trying to avoid the whole "that's not really sex" argument. this was my mother's POV - which worked out really well for me because my girlfriend was allowed to spend the night as often as i liked. and i could lock my bedroom door. and we could watch movies we'd rented from the video store that had lesbian scenes or connotation and get it on. i'm pretty sure my mum still thinks this is a phase, 15 years later. i approached my mother about visiting an OB/GYN before i'd ever had sex with that boy, just in case sometime i might want to. i thought i should have birth control or condoms or a check up or something to make sure i started with a clean slate, right? i was 14 then and i think my mum's tactic was to explain to me in graphic details the ins and outs (pun intended) of sex so much so that i wouldn't want to engage in it at all. little did she know, i already knew what the inside of Monica was like, now i just wanted to make sure i wouldn't get pregnant if i decided on a John instead. my mother said once i started having sex with a boy then we could discuss a doctor's visit, but in the meantime she'd answer all of my sex questions, and she started by explaining the logistics of it all. i learned about blow jobs, she told me about her technique & how it's convenient if you don't want to have vaginal sex. and then i learned where all the semen goes. "ohmigod mum you mean you DRINK it sometimes?!" i was shocked. i was pretty sure i wasn't going to want to have sex with men, ever. obviously i was wrong.
Question #17
How many men have you had sex with? How many women? Are you truly bi?
i'd say i've had sex with 20 men and i can't give you a definite on the number of women. plenty, suffice to say. as for truly bi, i'm not sure how you define that. i'm always the chosen woman for another girl's "first girl/girl experience," i don't know what it is about me but apparently i scream "i want to deflower your lesbian virginity!" and seem like a safe bet for girls. most of those girls i wouldn't consider "truly bi" but then, i've never been one for labeling. if i have to choose a label i say i'm half-homo. up until meeting Halcyon i'd have chosen a woman over a man any day, so i was more lesbian than straight. i've always been more attracted to women than men - their bodies, their curves, their soft skin, and i love the feeling of long hair draping over my tummy/hips as a woman goes down on me. Halcyon has made me see the beauty in a man's body too now, so i'm a little of both.
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Question #18
Talk about raising your brothers and everything around this.
my mother decided to go back to college once i was old enough not to set the house ablaze by accident. she also decided to have two more children with her new husband, and as such nick and tim were born. because my mother was in school full time finishing up her master's degree in nursing to become a Family Nurse Practitioner, i took care of my brothers from the day they were born until the older one was about 5 years old. i spent so much time with them that their first words were "mamamamamamama" but understanding who they were talking to was difficult. my mum and i both got used to responding to the call. nicholas and timothy still call me mommy on accident sometimes, i don't mind - i feel like they're probably the closest to having actual kids of my own so i might as well soak it up! nicholas and timothy:
Question #19
Where exactly were you born and who is your father?
i don't know, and i don't know. nice, an easy one!
Question #20
Do you still collect used cum stained porn mags from US soldiers?
i wouldn't say i collected them, but remember that losing of the virginity? all three of those brothers were in the military and two of them had just come back from Germany. i hadn't seen porno mags like these, i'd only ever seen Playboy in my best friend's dad's bathroom. this was just page after page of skin - very exposed skin. i had run away for the weekend from my parent's house (although i was good enough to attend my high school cross country meet that sunday morning after i lost my virginity) and they gave me a stack of magazines after i they realised i was into girls. i think they thought they were being funny, plopping a pile of smut in my hands - like "what's she gonna do with those right?" little did they know i kept those magazines for years, and they were masturbatory material until i finally got out there and ordered myself a vibrator and a real movie.
Question #21
Why, when, and where were you arrested for indecent exposure and charged with a class 3 sex offense?
it's no secret that i like to get naked, and often i like doing it in front of other people. i'm not one to force my nudity on anyone, but if i'm with a group of people who're cool with it, i'm not afraid to show a little skin, or a lot. in fact, i prefer being nude to clothed. up until very recently i slept only in the buff, but now that we have a little critter who likes to sleep under the covers too sometimes i'm forced to put on some undies. in 2002 was arrested and charged with a class 3 sex offense of indecent exposure, in arizona, where i was living at the time. i was at lake pleasant in humbug cove (which any boating arizonian can atest to being filled with various hedonistic behaviour) on my friend's boat dancing around, generally doing what scantily clad women in bikinis full of bud light do - getting naked. *note: this is not bragging. *also note: i am not ashamed of what i did. a crowd of boats tied to each other creates a large makeshift party-dock and everyone was having a good time. we were the last boat in a row because we'd just gotten there 15 minutes earlier, and a police boat drove up, lights and sirens on, and arrested me and gave the owner of the boat a ticket! they asked me if i would bare my breasts in Wal-Mart or the likes, seeing as how both Wal-Mart & Lake Pleasant are public places. he didn't seem to like the fact that i honestly didn't know that the cove was public or that it was illegal to be topless there. in any case i told him if the rest of Wal-Mart was having a party i think i would probably go ahead and join in too, but that i wouldn't shop at Wal-Mart, because of their terrible employee practices. it turns out a class 3 sex offense in arizona is a felony, and ranked as a more serious offense than committing incest. the only reason the officer cited me at level 3 was because he claimed there was a minor child present in the viscinity. there were often children in humbug cove, but their parents knew and wanted them there. so i hired a lawyer and got my case plead down to a misdemeanor with a small fine. it really rubs you raw when an entire state tells you you can't share your body. it was around this time that i started thinking it was definitely time to move back to california.
Question #22
Discuss the bands you've played with and play with and what you play.
i have always been involved with music in some way. my family is full of musicians and my mother had a habit of dating/marrying musicians, so my home has never been quiet. when i was a baby i couldn't fall asleep unless there was some sort of noise going on. i grew up learning to play piano, how to write & read music, and music theory. i've been in a band of some sort since 7th grade. back then it was a cure cover band and i had black hair and i think i might have looked like what i hear people now calling "emo." i started out playing keyboards as i had a background in classical piano and i started singing in school with the choir as well in 7th grade. i learned how to play bass by watching the bass player in my first band at practice. i didn't like him much and i thought "if he can do that, i can do that. he's a lazy fat ass." that's really what i thought, i'm almost ashamed to admit - but it got me to save money up to buy a bass. of course, i hadn't saved up enough cash before that band broke up (ah, the teen years) but i did get my bass eventually and i fell in love. the police is my favourite band of all time, and reggae music is my favourite style. i lived in grenada for 6 months and played acoustic bass guitar with a guy who played drums on the beach by my place every day after i would swim in the ocean. i tried to sing for about 5 years, enlisting a vocal coach (pam bricker, jazz singer, featured with thievery corporation, r.i.p.) and i sang with a couple different bands as lead. i had sung backup vocals in my previous bands just fine, but for some reason i'd never developed the balls (Halcyon is probably happy for this) to be the front woman. probably the most notable of my band days involved Stephen (steven) Jenkins, now the lead singer of Third Eye Blind. i played in three different bands with steve, The Cartoons, Splash and just before he started 3eb, the Bongo People. it was during this time that i put forth so much time and energy and money into music and my "career" as a musician, and the closest i came to "making it big" - which i never did. literally months after myself and the guitar player quit the band because steve was willing to change the entire sound of the music we'd written to make that recording contract, he'd taken on a new bassist, guitarist, and drummer and signed his first deal. i have no regrets about this, as i know all things happen for a reason. steve is a bit of a narcissistic prick anyhow, and i doubt i could have worked with him for this long anyhow. he and i still talk every so often, up until 2001 i was still going to random shows of his and providing live keyboards, because 3eb uses random session players for keyboard parts on recorded media. the last time i saw him i stayed at his place in san francisco and almost burnt it down while housesitting because the floo on the fireplace was closed when i started a fire...whoops!
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Question #23
Who do you look up to in this industry? Down on?
i look up to Jason Rhino at FLASHCA$H, and this isn't just a shameless plug to hope for a promotion. Jason exhibits so much class and expounds so much wisdom that i wouldn't have even hoped for from someone in porn, basically he blew my mind. i love it! i work for a man who constantly teaches & shows me new things. (sex clubs in Barcelona count, right?)
Question #24
Why do you call Hal Daddy?
It seems quite simple to me, but I realize to the untrained sex enthusiast or even the novice bondage player, that why I get turned on by having a Master I call Daddy and why he gets off when his hands are around my throat choking me calling me his dirty little slut, might not seem so obvious. I’ve played in the Domination/submission world before, most notably as a Dominatrix’ slave; I lived in her condo and spent all of my time following her orders. I ordered or picked up outfits she’d request me to wear, put them on and be ready on the floor at the front door with a drink, for instance. I’d sit on my knees with my chin to the ground, drink in front of me or on the entryway table – until she told me it was okay to stand…and please her in whichever way she requested next. I did this for 6 months straight, and while I enjoyed it thoroughly, it was most definitely only a sexual relationship when it came down to it. I knew I wanted to live this lifestyle, but I didn’t want it to seem so empty. I spent the next decade looking for a relationship that could incorporate the yearning I had for a very caring and nurturing Master or Mistress, who wasn’t afraid of disciplining me when I needed it, or because it would please them to. It seemed like every S&M enthusiast I met was either too rough, not rough enough, or was just going through the motions of some unwritten law of how BDSM play must go. Who wrote that law? And why do I have to follow it? Isn’t there anyone out there like me? So I had nothing to lose in that intro getting-to-know-you phase with Halcyon when I told him that I wanted a Daddy, I’d never really been into dominating men, I wasn’t a switch, and I’d love nothing more than to come to him, filled with love for those moments we would have together, on my knees and begging him for a good loving spanking. When he asked if I believed that you could love someone for just a night of sex, I felt my heart skip a beat. Yes! This man was not only interested in assuming my Daddy role, but he also believed that being a Master didn’t preclude acting out of love. I wanted someone to take total responsibility for the sex play and dance that we would perform together, but who would still allow me to be the slave – allow me to do my part in the dance. And of course I wanted someone who I clicked with. So when he collared me in our first meeting at the airport while we waited for my luggage at baggage claim, I felt already that I was falling in love. He’d established right from the beginning that he wanted to take me in, and that he was picking me up from the airport to take home for his own needs. He collared me with a leather bondage arm band with a D ring on it; one of his own – and then he gave me a gift of a black leather cockstrap, meant to be worn around my wrist at all times, except when my Master would request it for use. That first weekend he chained me to the bed and spanked me and let me call him Daddy. He incorporated this new Master/slave relationship into our first photo shoot together and the filming of our lovemaking by his friend (the other male, in my first MMF threesome), asking me “Are you ready to submit to me in front of David now?” before we started. I posed for photos because my Daddy told me too, not just because I wanted my picture taken – and the pleasure I received from His approval along with the given attraction to having our photos taken together, and having someone else watching, filming, and photographing us was all bonus. People often want to know if we switch roles, and true to my original disclosure, I don’t ever switch, nor anticipate wanting to dominate my Daddy. I have interests in things like anal sex with me topping someone with my strap-on, but we reserve that sort of play for possible girlfriends, which is likely to be discussed for quite some time beforehand. We are not swingers. Just because we channel divine power through our genitals does not mean we want to physically share our genitals with everyone out there. By all means, watch, but please don’t assume you can touch. You can always ask nicely though...
Question #25
Talk about your critical health issuses.
i was born with a congenital birth defect leaving me with one kidney that functions, and one that does not. the one is mincy and shrively and useless, and the other is beefy - like it's taken steroids, to take over all my kidney needs. i love her. this is okay, but i also developed Polycystic Kidney Disease (PKD) at a bizarrely young age (it's typically a male hereditary disease onsetting in middle adulthood. and for the triple whammy i've got Interstitial Cystitis (IC) which is a lack of lining in your bladder that usually protects the sensitive nerves from things that you eat that hurt them, basically anything that tastes good is out. it's all chronic, it's all incurable, so what can you do? i personally got tired of taking 11 pills a day and trying to remember to keep track of which ones were for with food and which were for without. which could i have milk with? which no dairy? and more importantly, taking medications to combat the side effects of other medications struck me as lame. i was tired and lethargic and unable to be ask energetic as before i tried medications to *maybe* stop the progression of my IC and rebuild my bladder lining. i'd already had surgeries to have my ureters fixed and kidney cysts removed. i was tired of living life based on the cycles of my medications. oh, and i didn't much like losing my hair from taking Elimiron. it came out in patches so i shaved it off for a bit. hats are your friends when you have no hair. now i don't take any medications and i feel more like *me*. i have had significantly fewer kidney issues since i stopped the medication and started the meditation/smarter thinking/not taking the sick person mentality. so it seems i am getting better. i am much better at talking myself through things, which brings me more comfort than having to rely on calling doctors over and over, visit after visit - to get *sort of* answers, all the while feeling exhausted and broken. i believe in the power of positive thinking.
Question #26
Who busted your front teeth?
your mom. no, my front teeth first by a set of bars in 3rd grade, then after a root canal they were knocked out again in 8th grade by a 7th grader. whew, humiliation for months on that one - that was before she got to my teeth. i broke both of her arms, actually dislocated them from their sockets in retaliation, due to pure anger. she had been torturing me for months and months. i am not proud of this behaviour, but i *was* fighting back. switch gears. fast forward a decade or so: in college i road my bike everywhere. i rode it home from work at the UWMC hospital on swing shift on a friday night. it was midnight on a friday and i was excited about drunken bowling (with the lights and music and all that) with my roomie, and his coworker. i pulled my bike out of the bike rack, failed to check the front quick release, and hopped on, turned around and sped for the short set of 12 stairs to jump them as per usual. but this time, since someone else's bike had probably knocked my quick release loose, my front tire came off while i was in the air and i endo'd over my handlebars and the fork on my cannondale bent. i sat up, still on hospital grounds, almost passing out - and i started to cry because i realised i was spitting teeth or part of teeth out. this meant another dental visit. i dread the dentist. sure, my knee and elbow were both broken and my chin needed to be stitched up (essentially i hit the ground with my chin so hard i bit down enough to break those molars in half) but i was going to have to go to the dentist?! i threw up on my first emergency visit in. i actually had a super zen experience when she fixed my molars and touched up my front teeth that had been rebroken before. my view was of a babbling brook, bamboo, and there was soothing music playing in the background. usually i need a bunch of valium beforehand and then a *lot* of nitrous once i'm there, and that's just to get the needle in to numb me up. she renewed my faith for a bit, i even flew back to WA to see her after i moved away once.
Question #27
What kind of car do you drive? pics. Post pics of your home. discuss
i drive a furry pink bike that i made out of a used beach cruiser and pink fur strips with a glue gun. lee.loo took her first ride in it just the other day, she was a natural. here's a picture of my wheels and i am truly blessed to live where i do right in this moment. Halcyon and i live on the ocean, literally. on the cliffs. we see dolphins playing off our balcony almost daily right now. but the best are the sunsets. here are some pictures of our home area, mostly our beach, where we spend much of our free time.
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Question #28
Discuss what burning man means to you.
Burning Man was for me, for years, an internal struggle. i went for my first time in 1998 and had a great experience and then a terrible experience within a few days time. my best friend had a drug problem and she was airlifted out, the Burner mentality i'd heard about was nowhere to be found when my overdosed/overheated friend was seizing on the ground. i didn't know what to feel after that. ultimately she and i stopped being friends due to many things, including not apologising for not listening when i said hold back, drink more water, etc. and for not saying thank you for going to the hospital and taking care of her in a totally unfamiliar territory to me. it wasn't until this year at Burning Man, that i returned. i went with Halcyon and felt empowered by our duo. nothing could stop me, this *would* be good. this was my rebirth. and it was; times a thousand. Burning Man is like a trip to Mecca for me, these last few years i wasn't ready. now i am. i burned a paper journal with thoughts of that ex-friend, who managed to keep causing me mental anguish from afar by not returning calls, or doing other friend-like things. there were other things in the journal i burned, and it all felt perfectly soul-cleansing and as though i suddenly knew i wasn't supposed to go back until i was with Halcyon. that's just how my Path was supposed to go. and i followed it and it finally brought me "home" to the Playa again.
Question #29
Post pics of and talk about your baby pug.
lee.loo is a rescue pug. she is 2 1/2, almost 3 years old, but weighing only 14 pounds now, she's obviously the runt of her litter. her previous owner wanted to breed her with other small dogs for smaller breed "teacup" pets. i am glad she was rescued, her little body couldn't handle a litter of puppies! she's been fairly perfect for a rescue pet. she is housebroken, she doesn't chew up things that aren't hers, she doesn't rip up things, and she does express any true aggression at anyone. she barks at people she doesn't know or recognise right away but now she tends to bark once or twice like "hey! who's in my house?" and then she sniffs about and tends to hang around. we're working on the barking thing. but otherwise she's great. she snorts and chortles and snores at bedtime. she likes to sleep all the way under the covers so the snoring is somewhat muted. she is precious, i am in puppy love. more pics forthcoming.
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Question #30
Why do you truly believe you're destined to change the world though sex?
Being a superhero isn’t as easy as I’d hoped. Just like everyone else, I think I grew up daydreaming of being a superhero with a power that no one else had, something I’d already seen in a comic book - like being invisible, or being able to fly. Little did I know that there would be not only sex involved, but pink hair, and transcendent spirituality? Whoa. And anyone can achieve this power? Double whoa. “We believe that sex is the closest we get to the divine through our daily existence. Some have told us that sex is sacred…and therefore should be private. What?! If that is the case, then what is a church? Isn’t a church a place where the sacred is explored publicly? And through that sharing, faith is strengthened and a community is formed? We consider Pinkgasm to be our church. We consider you to be a part of that congregation. We consider this divine journey to be an adventure in miracles. What is so wonderful about sex is that it is like spiritual vehicle with training wheels. It allows us to explore our spiritual selves in ways we never have before. People who would never be open to meditation or a walk on a labyrinth can easily digest the concept of transcendence via orgasm.” – from the Pinkgasm manifesto (www.pinkgasm.com/blog). How do sexual superheroes come to be? A better question yet, how do two hibernating sexual superheroes, both pink haired, come to be in separate locations, only to find each other, join forces – awaken - enjoy a little BDSM and save the world through sex energy and a little consciousness raising? Every superhero has a genesis story; this is where it all began. I met Halcyon, the male half of this sex duo, in the most appropriate of ways. To explain, a little background. He and I both had been pining away at our computers, snapping smutty pictures of ourselves and sharing them with certain online friends/lovers, or at least in my case, anyone who wanted to see. Our desire to carry this to the next level – namely having sex with someone else who shared each of our individual exhibitionistic lifestyles, was what prompted us to meet. And the rest of that, is, as they say, history - or answered in the "how did you meet Halcyon" question.
...and because he explains it more eloquently than i ever could, though i feel exactly the same way here is more from the manifesto we wrote before we started Pinkgasm: After decades of exploring our sexuality, Tassy and I have come to similar places. Both of us are at peace with our Jungian shadows. In other words, we have accepted what I have dubbed the “shit the bed” principal — The idea being that, until you surrender fully to your sexuality, you will never truly transcend. You will never experience the divine possession of orgasm if you are afraid of making a silly face, or screaming “WHORE*C*U*NT*FUCK,” or if you are afraid of shitting the bed. When I first heard Tassy climax, I was overwhelmed with the idea of experiencing something beyond the two of us. It was as if she was channeling a divine chorus of angels. And, even more magically, it was like a window into my own unexplainable experience with divine climax. One of the reasons I love to video tape myself during sex is because “I” am never present during those moments. When I climax fully, my body is possessed by the divine. I thrash, I scream, and I pretty much leave my body. Having a loving partner during that experience intensifies it exponentially. It is like having a trusted spelunking partner to explore the dark recesses of my own psyche. In fact, meeting each other and *allowing* one another to release fully has been an unexplainable gift. In many ways, pinkgasm is an extension of that experience. One of the things we have in common is our exhibitionism. We both feel our sexuality is heightened as we share it. In that way, this site is a much different than traditional “porn.” YOU are a part of this experience. Your enjoyment increases our enjoyment. As our sex energy stimulates your sex energy, the sum total energy grows cumulatively. You are not a spectator…your appreciation is a form of participation.
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Question #31
How did you start your modeling career?
i started technically by taking pictures of myself and a good girlfriend of mine in grade school and then in high school later. after high school and a few promotional random things for college projects i didn't do any modeling at all. i started an escorts advertising service website and used a few pictures i took of myself with a timer and black sheets hung behind me to create a fake profile for potential escorts to see as a sample. when i moved to arizona i modeled for all of the print and web advertising (before the government shut them down) for Vishion's Smoke Shop, a head shop with locations in the San Diego area as well as the Phoenix metro area. i posed with a lot of expensive, pretty pieces of glass before i had my new boobies even. i definitely knew i wanted to model, but i felt that naked or sexyesque to naked was the only way to go. i didn't want to show off someone else's talents, i wanted to showcase mine.
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i took a LOT of pictures of myself. i was married briefly and i think i took more pictures of myself during that time than ever. we were often on the road at different times, running our transport & lighting company for bands on tour - so when i was home alone i took naked/sexy pics of myself to send to him. he wasn't as into it as i was into taking them, so i continued taking them and not sharing with him anymore.
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i'll have to dig into the folder Halcyon made for me to show him the pictures i'd been taking all those years waiting for someone like him to come along.
Question #32
Discuss the cock worship site you want to create.
cockworship101 was an idea i came up with that basically involved me teaching girls how to give blowjobs/head/technique on my strapon first during her lessons:
and then if she performed well enough in class she might get some bonus afterschool pet time, or she'd take her final exam on my Master, Halcyon:
it turns out after a long long long phase of loving sex with women and just sort of feeling like i sometimes needed to satisfy a craving for dick, i actually really really *love* worshipping cock, and i spend a lot of time practicing for just that reason. a site focused on the art of truly worshipping the cock, as i see it - still fails to exist. there are a couple that come close, but - as with many of my porn site ideas, mine require some pretty serious true connection and desire - something that seems to be hard to find between two people, let alone potentially 3-4 peoples' relationships!
i affectionately refer to my mouth as my "cock garage" or "penis garage" although Halcyon recently pointed out that it would make more sense for that to be my penis attic, and for my lower bits to be the garage...and backdoor garage(?) in any case, if i feel like getting frisky it usually means i want to spend some time paying attention to his member, giving it love, foreplay, and treating it almost as if it's own entity. i even write poetry/make art for it. yes, i am that cheesy.
