CuriousToyBoy

Everyone I know who's met Lindsay, loves Lindsay. There's something about this guy that draws you to him. It easy to see he feels right at home with the webmaster crowd. He's got a very successful online adult business and travels in the inner circles with some of the most powerful people in this industry. That being said, he makes time for everyone. He knows how to enjoy himself and make sure all around him enjoy themselves as well.

Pictures complements of Fubar - check it out the photo archive of all webmaster events!

                 
                 

GFY Ambush Interview thread on CuriousToyBoy


Question #1
Everyone wants to know, as there are lots of rhumors - are you straight, gay or bi?

Kevin Spacey has been quoted as saying "I am not heterosexual, I am not homosexual, I am just sexual." I have been called everything from "the gayest straight man I have ever known" to "the straightest acting fag I've met mate". Shit, even CJ (Purve.com), who I have the pleasure of sharing the Penthouse with, calls me "her gay roommate". Just because I matched my bed linen with the towels and mats in the ensuite bathroom ? Hardly fair..... Oh, and then their are the complementary bedside lamps....... Seriously? I am not gay. Kieran (FlogTheLog) who works for me is gay (he's not, standing GFY joke that one.... I started it !!). Trisexual is a cliche, and I'm not trisexual anyway. I am not bi-sexual, although there have been a couple of times where bits have touched during sexual carryings on, it doesn't do it for me. Fundamentally I am a WHAMWASH... White Heterosexual Australian Male With A Sense Of Humor I say to many gay friends, in and out of the industry, "Buddy, you are a lovely guy and a beautiful person, but unfortunately I have this incredible love of breasts and incredible dislike of penises, so if you want to go and get a nice boob job, get the gear and tackle lopped off, we could probably have a wonderful life together." I say to many straight friends, again in and out of the industry, "Listen here pal, if I ever decide to come out of the closet, you haven't got a fucking choice, so just get over it." Many of you reading this would have heard me say either or both. Probably WAY too many times. The real story is I am so comfortable with who I am I really don't care. I can kiss a guy (and there is recent GFY evidence to prove that), I can hug everyone (if I like them, I NEVER hug someone I don't like) and can be physically emotionally expressive out the ying yang because I seriouslyu do not give a fuck. I have been in and out of the sex industry for nearly 25 years, this internet thing just being a different iteration. I started driving escorts to jobs before I had a drivers licence, I've bounced in, managed and owend strip clubs and brothels, I've shot porn on BOTH sides of the camera, and I still have an interest in Brisbane's biggest Swingers Club (http://www.mikesplace.com.au). SO don;t call me gay or call me straight. Call me Lindsay.




Question #2
Isn't it time you waxed your ass and your back?

I have been getting my back waxed for about 15 years. I HATE hairy backs. It's just my thing. Memories of that very first time still, and without fail, cause me to quiver and break out into cold sweats. It fucking hurt. A lot. An awful lot. But those days are far behind me, shit, I fall asleep more often than not these days when I get it done, I shit you not. So why not my ass ? I did it once, many, many years ago, at the insistence on my then wife. Have you ever tried to sit on a chair while the itch of the hair growing back on your backside drives you ever and ever closer to a psychopathic episode ? NEVER again. Bitch


Question #3
What's with the fascination in dressing up in woman's underwear?

It's not MY fascination in the dress up, it's EVERYONE ELSE'S fascination where the key to the answer to this question lies.... And it's not just about the dress up, it could be the undressing, the simulated (?) man love or any other crazy assed shit that tickles my fancy at the time. Again it's about being comfortable in your own skin, about who you are, where you come from and where you are going. I know who I am, I know what motivates me, what makes me tick, and I GENUINELY like who I am. And in that is the secret, some people may say they don't give a fuck, I just don't, so the inhibition level is negligible. It never ceases to provide me with constant amusement how people have so much fun in watching me just do crazy shit for my own entertainment. I don't TRY to do things, and I don't do them because of some inherent ego need, or because I need the attention, I do it because it is fucking fun. I am definitely not some performing seal, I am in control ALL the time. Many have heard me note, "The more out of control I seem, the more in control I am." You see, it's not what you do, it's how you do it. It's the intent behind it. I think it is most enjoyable because pretty much everyone around sees just how much fun I am having and laughs WITH me, not at me. Not that laughing AT me would bother me one iota anyway. I spent a lot of my past life taking energy (amongst other things) from all around me - I was the consumate asshole. These days I do because I can - I give of myself and my energy freely, to those who deserve... and there come in the antics, the hugs, the manner, the smile. I get just as much, if not more out of it than those around me. The ability and gumption to do and say the things that many in life wish they could do or say is truly a gift that I treasure. Now, it's either all of that or an underlying expression of the fact that I may actually really be gay.

     


Question #4
What letters can you legally put after your name? Discuss your education.

I finished High School in top 10% of the State. Considering I was bouncing in nightclubs, illegals casinos and illegal brothels and driving around escorts when I wasn't playing football pretty much my entire senior year, I couldn't be unhappy with that. My mother was seriously ill in hospital most of that year, and with my old man working 90 hours a week and looking after my younger sister I pretty much got away with murder. I was always one of those lucky bastards that just got shit, in an academic sense especially, so I pretty much cruised through High School on remote control. I was also an know-it-all. I am lucky enough to have one of those "steel-trap", memories AND an analytical mind with a penchant for relating to the big picture. A tremendous genetic or legacy advantage over most. One for which I am perpetually grateful. These days they call kids like I was "ADHD" and fill them up with Ritalin to stifle their minds from working on a level higher than most people. What a rip-off !! If I was born 25 years later I could have had free speed everyday for the rest of my life !!! I just missed qualifying for Law at the end of High School, so I thought, "fuck it", I can always go to University later and I spent the next few years riding the slippery slope downhill and playing bad gams on the wrong side of the tracks. Eventually I woke up to myself (to a degree) and started studying externally part-time, whilst working and doing anything else that came along. To cut the rest of a long story short, I have... A Bachelors Degree in Business, majoring in Marketing - BBus(Mar) A Full Diploma of Market Research - DipBus(MarRes) Certification in Instructional Skills - CertBus(InsSkl), which means I can teach at a tech college level Certification as a Quality System Auditor - CertAud(Qual), so I can set up and certify system to international quality standards But to me, in all seriousness, it all means shit. Really. All university proves is your ability to learn. I subscribe to the theory of: Those that can do, those that can't, teach, and those that can't teach write textbooks.


Question #5
Talk about your marriage and divorce.

I have $493000 reasons to talk about that. That was her bite when we settled the property. Next day, I bought a Porsche Boxster and 2 jet skis with money I had hidden offshore just to piss her off (I knew LOTS about offshore structuring and finance even years before this, let alone what I know now !!). Seriously, "Moppsy" (for want of a better moniker) was a great woman. Beautiful, intelligent, great poise, a real product of the prissy parents and private school upbringing... shame her father was an Anglican Archdeacon.... that made for some interesting clashes, let me tell you !! We met when I was 25, she was 22. Moved in together 2 months later. Bought a house together 6 months after that. Got engaged on our 12th month anniversary, married 18 months later, separated 18 months on from that then settled and divorced. All before I was 30. I still say today that if I was her, I would have left me 12 months before she did. A typical case of a girl loving the bad boy (and I was one HELL of a lot badder way back then) and then as soon as she has got him trying to change what it was that attracted her to him in the first place. I refused to change and told her that. She more than once said, "You are a married man and you have a better single lif$e than most single guys". I will say for the record that in the almost 5 years together I NEVER cheated on her. Cam bloody close, but never did. Anyway, a couple of years later we had a bit of a reignite for a while and she even came overseas to where I was living for an holiday and then when I cam back we saw each other for a while until I cut her loose. She was using me as an excuse not to get on with her life, I told her that, and it pretty much died a natural death from there. We have not spoken since, and that is about 5 years ago.... and that is a shame, because even afterv we divorced wewere still good friends. For a long time she was my best friend in the world, and to this day she understood me better than most people will ever hope to. I will get married again, if it is right, or even for fun, as I suggested in this thread... that'd be a hoot It will take a pretty amazing person to catch and keep me, that much I will say.


Question #6
What does it take to be a cricket umpire?

Not much. Learn the rules, pass a test, do a practical test and Bob's your uncle. The better question would have been: "What Makes a 13 Year Old Boy Want to Umpire Cricket Instead Of Play ?" I still played, but upon learning that I could earn $17 for a Saturday afternoon's work while my mates struggled to earn $10 mowing 5 lawns all day Saturday made it an easy career choice at that time.


Question #7
What's the most interesting thing that ever happened to you as an escort driver?

He he he he he he he.... WHERE do I start ? The origins of "CuriousBoyToy" was way back then, because at 16 there were a NUMBER of the working girls who had been around the block for a while who liked to take the "young fella" under their wing..... And that's not all !!!!!! The ***MOST*** interesting ? Well there was this reasonably new girl, "Jasmin", who started at the brothel I worked out of when I had been working there for about 4 months, who was only 3-4 years older than me, and let me tell you, I could change my column shift 3-speed manual Holden with my cock it was that hard everytime I was around her... Unlike the older girls, Jasmin was still fresh and relatively innocent, and an absolute knockout. Even though I was pretty socially and sexually advanced by 16, that was with 16 year old girls that I could already manipulate and manouver myself into their panties with minimal effort, NOT 20 year old prostitutes. So therefore I did what any 16 year old would do... mumbled and bumbled and looked like a total retard whenever she was around, let alone when I had to drive her somewhere. It was also my first experience with jealousy - when I took her to a John, I would sit in the car and imagine tearing him apart piece by piece, and saving Jasmin and the day... Oh, to be 16 again !!!!! NEVER Anyhoo, I had to drive her to this job, and, not as uncommon as people may think, even back then, the job was to a couple at a private home. We pulled up at the address and I walked her up to the door (my job being, get the money and then wait around until time was up and knock on the door to get her out and take her back). The female half of the couple opened the door and asked us in. She looked at me and turned to the guy and said, "Oooo, I like him" and then turned to me and said "How much for you as well?". Without gory details (which got pretty gory let me tell you), the first time I go to fuck Jasmin I was 16 1/2, was paid $60 (after house cut of course, which In had to pay), and I dated Jasmin for 3 months. We also saw the couple again a number of times. Ah, glory days. Go figure ?


Question #8
Did you ever have to rough anyone up as a debt collector?

Hang on while I just ring one of my lawyers and get some confirmations on statute of limitations provisions....... This is going to be a relatively short answer, and not one like a Tarantino script, because even though I regret nothing I have ever done in my life (because it is the sum of everything I have done that has made me the amazing person that I am today !!), there are many things I have done ofn which I am less than proud. Let's just make it clear that the people I worked for were not in the traditional businesses of finance and lending, or supply and demand. Suffice to say that the people I was collecting from where NOT people whi hadn't done something like missed a car payment. And I was paid solely on performance. Enuf said. I did short jail time as a result of an incident gone wrong during this time, when a refused bail application just before an Easter weekend (thanks to my brief fucking up the application, which was pro fucking forma !!) resulted in 9 days in high security remand. I've done watchhouse overnights before and many since, but this was the real deal. And I was a 19 year old kid, trapped in a 250lb body with the mind of a serial killer, and a super ego to boot. Of all the people I have hurt physically in my life, the 5 guys in that 9 days and the fucking retard lawyer who fucked up in the first place to put me there are the ones I have least bad feeling about.


Question #9
How did you end up managing a strip club and brothel for years?

Well it wasn't years. Although it did seem like it then and even sometimes now... I "managed" my first strip club at 19, the a brothel, then both. By 20, I was in New Zealand, another country, running 5 strip clubs and 3 brothels in the red light strip along "K" Road in Auckland. Wonder if I can still spell it... Karanguahape ? Anyways, "K" Road Here I was, 19, surrounded by fucking huge Maoris and "coconuts" (assorted Islanders), this fucking white kid, who, even at 6"2 and 250lbs of pretty fucking strong muscle mass, paled into insignificance next the to fucking size of some of these huge black bastards. Who did not like me. At all. Bottom line - within 4 weeks I was on a first name basis with ever orderly, nurse and doctor on night duty at Auckland General Hospital. Had the shit beaten out of me more times in that first month than the rest of my life put together and tripled. A painful time. I was only there for about 3 1/2 months when a car I was supposed to be driving blew up, giving the poor little fuck "gopher" kid I used to give odd jobs to 3rd degree burns to 50% of his body. I accepted the message and booked it out of country in a BIG hurry. That was the last straw and I decided that if I wanted to live past 30, or even 21 at that point, it was time to make a change...... But I didn't answer the question really... How did I end up there ? Hmmmmmm. Let's just say that management skills (which I had) were not the major pre-requisite. Product handling and marketing channels were. The End.


Question #10
Discuss how you got sick and lost it all at age 31.

Hmmmmmmmm. I don't like to. After I went "on the straight and narrow" I worked for the Government for a long time (I actually worked for them on and off in between a lot of early shit) and whilst there I started my own management consultancy (amongst other things !!). One thing led to another, I left the Civil Service and BOOM, I expanded from a 2 man consultancy practice with a business partner, turning over about $250k per year in the first year, to that company, an IT Business Solutions Company, a PC and software supply company, a magazine publishing company and a letterbox distribution company within 2 years, turning over $8mil year. I was loaded with more money than brains and I was a TOTAL asshole. Alright. Cut to the chase. I was living large and the high life and fast lane was where I remained firmly for quite some time. I knew that there was something not right with me, but I blamed that on the drugs, the drink, the women, the lifestyle and anything else I could think of. Oh, and a death wish longer than a elephant's dick. I was sick. VERY sick. One day I was walking down the street in town and I just stopped.. felt a bit ill in the stomach and next minute projectile vomited pure blood over a half a dozen peeps in front of me. Quite fucking funny in hindsight actually... they were horrified and this woman starting screaming and it was all a big fucking circus. I just turned and kept walking. Soooo... Off to the doctor I go. Cancer. throat lining. Inoperable, metastized to your lymph nodes, 3 - 6 months. What a fucking cock of a docter !!! I gave him a mouthful and left. This is the only time in my life that I was thankful I had money back then - I immediately picked up the phone and found the most pre-emminet specialist in that area in the country, sat down with my business partners that night and explained things and signed Power of Attorneys over evetything for them (note this BIG mistake) and next morning jumped on a plane and went to him. Horrible time. 6 weeks of intensive radium treatment, 7 weeks of chemotherapy. 100% clean bil of health. (and no, my voice was like it was for ever, it's not because of this !!!) Funny thing? I did not lose ONE hair, I GAINED weight and I generally got in all sorts of shit with the hospital staff for, well, or being me ;-) The single biggest lesson of my life. Here in this thread or when you see me PLEASE DO NOT say sorry or shit like that, do not compare or share stories or congratulate me or anything like that - it will piss me off. I decided to beat it and I did. It's a mind power thngs. If you can you will. End of story. And no-one ever knows the right thing to say, so say nothing, even if we share experiences like this, say nothing. I like it that way. I had cancer of the soul LONG before it manifested itself physically... that was where the problem was. NO more correspondence will be entered into and I ask you to respect that. ANYWAY...... Whilst I was away for the 4 months of treatment (all up) my business partners made some STUPID decisions. They did not sit down and work out a "let's fuck Lindsay" plan, they just fucked up. Too long a story to go into, but the Power of Attorneyy I had given them fucked me. I still to this day do not hold bad feelings towards either of them. They were clueless and fucked up doing shit they had no clue about. So I come back, refreshed and literally a new man and then hit a 6 month battle trying to hold everything together. Cancer was easy in comparison. August 1998, I had $3.78 in the bank and I owed $470000 plus change and owned the clothes I had in 2 bags. How the mighty fall. I didn't deserve it then, I do now. Life is good!


Question #11
Why did you become a hospital manager?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Now THIS is a funny assed story...... So there I was, broke as a fuck, blank mind, no future, feeling sorry as fuck for myself. The creditors were calling, they were visiting, they were writing, but you can't get blood out of a stone. I told them I pay them, I told them I would not go bankrupt, that I woukd work my way out of the shit, they just had to give me time. ****** And I was tired, so fucking tired.... But then a Doctor friend and fully-paid-annually-in-advance medical insurance came to the rescue. REHAB !! A top notch facility for drug and alcohol dependence, 100% anonymous and 100% covered by my insurer. The irony ? I wasn't doing drugs OR even drinking much at the time ;-) So of one of the times in my life that I LEAST require rehab, I marched through the door with my little bag of clothes and a dozen novels. I had managed to mailinger inside there with a TV and cable and 3 awsome squares a day and a gym and pool for 11 weeks before the medical insurer started to make some loud noises.. so I had to do something. Out came the national daily paper, and for the first time EVER, I look ed for a job in the Employment Section, preferably one a LONG way away. 2nd column, first page of the management section, "Hospital and Regional Health Services Manager", WAY the fuck in outback Australia. Now I do not mean that pretend bullshit they showed you Yanks on "Survivor", I mean 500 miles FURTHER inland. Middle of buttfuck nowhere. Dog ass of the earth. Dust, mulga scrub and kangaroos..... millions of fucking kangaroos. SO I applied. They interviewed me on the phone, the phone at the Nurse's station of the rehab facility no less, and yes, they gave me the job. 2 weeks more on the insurers dime and I walked out the door, same bag packed, too a taxi to the airport and off I went. Now this is the good part. I arrive, they walk me around and give me orientation and shit and then they take me to my office to "settle in". First 2 things they give me ? Combination to the safe..... and...... THE KEYS TO THE FUCKING PHARMACY !!!!!!


Question #12
Did you ever open anyone's mail as a postmaster?

Hey now Sleazy, I dunno where you get your information from, but I wasn't just no Postmaster.......... I was the goddamn national Postmaster General !!!!!!! OK, it was of a small island in the South Pacific 40 square kilometres, population 1800. No street numbers. Once a month the ship came in with all the parcel post and the dumptruck would literally dump 100+ mail bags at the back door of the Post Office for us to sort. It was always fun opening a mail bag to see a bunch of boxes with "Fragile" tape wrapped all around them .... We'd then play the game of "shake the box and guess what it USED to be". It was a beautiful place, amazing scenery and rolling over on bed and watching the moonrise over the Pacific Ocean... well, that view even challenged the view from Penthouse now as simply incredible. The problem ? 200 years of inbreeding amongst the population. LOTS of 6 fingered banjo players. But it WAS an incredible year in my life.


Question #13
Is it true you worked as a nanny?

Well I didn't work per se, but I was a Nanny for 9 months, yes. It's actually how I first REALLY got started in this biz.... The mother of my youngest godchildren (at the time twin boys, Jack and Lawrence both 5 and my little Princess Stephanie age 3 1/2) got VERY ill and was confined to hospital for what looked like a LONG convalescence. Their Dad, well let's just say that "Mr. Mom" he ain't. So when I cam back from Pacific adventures, I moved in with him and the kids. Approximately 7 minutes after moving in it was clear that I had to take control... the place was a 100%, no room for error, Bushian cluster fuck. Let em tell you, he may look better, but Vin Diesel don't know shit when it comes to running a house and raising kids. Within a week, the place was shipshape, the kids were regimented like they had just doen Special Forces bootcamp and the house was running in a mor than satisfactory manner. By week 3, I had already done my first shift at the school tuckshop (cafeteria) and was doing Monday afternoon reading with Stephanies pre-school class. Week 5, saw my first invitation to a "Mothers Morning Tea". I even baked a cake to take. Banana bread from memory. In the 2nd month, I went to my first School "working bee" on a Saturday... NONE of the husbands would talk to me - they were all certain that I was banging their wives stupid. 3 of them were right. My funniest memory of the time was with little Steph. The little devil in the cute angel disguise that used to look up at me with those big cow eyes, and I would say, "Stephanie, what do I always tell you?" To have this sweet little 4 year old terrorist look back, frown, and say, "Emotional blackmail won't work because you aren't my Daddy". Ah, the simple joys. Very early in the piece, Stephanie took me to pre-school as her "Show and Tell". How adorable, and how cool did I feel having this little kid I loved so much want to show off her Godfather and now Nanny. I felt a million bucks. She stood me up in front of the class and said, "this is Lindsay, he's looking after my brothers and me and he has this really cool tattoo of Bart Simpson on his bum. Show them Lindsay !" As the visions of 25-life in Max security ran through my head for showing my ass to a room full of 4 year olds, I decided that discretion was the better part of valor. I did see her teacher socially for a month or too soon thereafter though !!! Unfortunately this story has a really sad footnote.... Last November, my little Mistress Stephanie, died suddenly from viral meningitis. 3 hours from "Mommy, I got a headache" to DOA at the hospital. 10 years old. A very sad time. She would have liked that I write about her. I think I'll take that Jager now........... Life is hardly fair sometimes, so remember folks, you get to do-over and life itself is not a practice run. Go hard or go the fuck home.


Question #14
Discuss your adult programs and the ones you work with.

OK, let's hope that this answers some oft-answered questions of me. Like me and my life, my business relationships could hardly be considered "normal", and hey, although the intracacies of my set up and my structure are no-ones business apart from mine and those they directly involve, I hope this shed some light that aids in peoples understanding of where I fit in and with whom. Firstly, let it be understood that one of my long held business maxims is that I do NOT build shit for other people, i.e., I do NOT work as an employee usually and with few exceptions a piece of the pie has to be on the table for me to be remotely interested. I must also say my contract is my handshake, and anyone who remotely knows me, knows and understand that I value my integrity above all else. If my word is no good what good is anything else ? For the record, I am PART of CuriousCash, but I do NOT own part of CuriousCash. CuriousTim has done an amazing job building his business from a single site in 1999 to the 30+ sites (and growing) we have today in what is close to the largest exclusive * original content Gay/Bi/Curious specirfic programs on the net. I am proud of my role in that growth and continue to exert great energies in the marketing, business development and traffic generation roles that I always have, and always will have. Tim and I, like any blood brothers, are inexorably linked, and always will be I am HAPPY to say. I never have been an employee of Tim, and I never will be. It's like I said, I am PART of what CuriousCash is, and I will always be CuriousToyBoy. Tim runs and incredibly tight operation, with an overhead so low that most people would doubt it could operate, but under Tim's leadership, the "lean and mean" Tim's angels team has continued amazing growth whilst many others have faltered and fallen. Now here is the recent twist. Last year, my good friends Ben & Phil from the Dutch based program LionDollars (who have actually been around for 5 years, but have kept a relatively low profile to their size) asked me to come on board with a project to help them with internal traffic generation, brand marketing and development of small webmasters, an arrangement which I readily agreed to. LionDollars are a very large program in anybody's language. They have built an incredible team of extremely talented people and are growing at an exponential rate. With over 100 niche sites and a big chunk of dating sites, their operation is a definite winner (watch soon for the new "Blacklabel" dating program which will knock your socks off !!). Earlier this year, the boys asked me if I would be prepared to come on board at LionDollars full time, as an EMPLOYEE of their company. Now I know my usual maxim, but this opportunity incorporated the exsiting traffic project at the existing terms, and the opportunity to work with such a progressive and exciting organization, with incredible technical staff and an infrastructure many could only dream of was too big a drawcard to refuse - I had the freedom and resources so that I could develop and implement things with an incredible team that would only have been pipedreams elsewise. Ben and Phil understand my existing business obligations and needs and agreed to a level of participation in those existing businesses and projects that did not impinge upon their needs of me as an employee. Also to his credit, but if not somewhat reluctantly, CuriousTim understood my needs to grow, and he also understood the cross benefits to CuriousCash with much of what I am doing at LionDollars. I also have some mobile phone projects that I am putting to bed and some other arrangements through a legal firm in Brunei Darussalem which I remain an irregular consultant to. I suppose the situation could be viewed much like Jason, who although he now heads CECash, but retains his Porndollar and [http://www.ohmobile.com]OhMobile[/url] operations (Hi Jason, didn't think you'd mind me using you as an example mate !!) Here it should be pointed out the business of being CuriousToyBoy, as much as I would like to take full credit, is actually a team effort. Ands a bloody fine team at that. Most here know that Kieran (FlogTheLog) came on board with me a few weeks ago. With my new arrangements, I have had to make some changes to my business operations with my new roles, so I have rolled thes up into a single program, RichC.U.N.T.S (have to talk to Eric about unbanning the "C" word won't we ?). His role will be to affiliate and operations manage that program. I will no day to day involvement. I also have Danny in the Philippines, Mouse in the States and Georgie in Bulgaria who do the really hard work - the nuts and bolts of my traffic generation strategies for CuriousCash and other programs of friends of mine. And last, but by no means least, I have the key to "CuriousToyBoy Inc". Her departure from [http://www.eurorevenue.com]EuroRevenue[/url] (hey Joe - thanks mate for the opportunity and thanks for remaining a good friend of mine) was kismet at it's finest (kismet being the Buddhist philsophy that all things happen for a reason). Raven heads CuriousToyBoy Inc as my Business Manager, and my team could not have a better leader than my best friend and big sister. So in summary let me make it clear..... Lindsay works for LionDollars as Lindsay, with scant little involvement of the others. When I travel to shows now I am the official representative of LionDollars, so when I take my clothes off next time, blame them As an employee for the first time in MANY years, I could n ot think of a better team to be part of !! CuriousToyBoy Inc concerns itself with ALL other aspects of my other business relationships. Clear as mud, isn't it?


Question #15
How much money do you spend on strip clubs?

Owning them or partying in them ? I bought into another one just before Christmas (BIG fucking mistake) and it was open for ONE WHOLE DAY before I sold the fuck out. I should learn to trust my instincts when it comes to business partners.. the only way I could have stayed around was to run the fucking thing myself, and I am SOOOOOOOO over that shit. When it comes to partying in them, I am someone who does do the lap dance things (boring !!), unless I feel like it and I start GIVING lapdances...... to the girls and whoever else may be unfortunate enough tio be around !!!!! But I ALWAYS like to see my friends enjoy themselves, I drink like a fucking fish (and a big one) and I get the girls, and all the club staff as drunk as possible on shots and shit so EVERYONE is going off. In this type of thing, I am generous to a fault. I threw a private bash at K5 in Prague during AOE last year, when the manager my mate Steve gave us a floor/bar area to ourselves, for a select group of friends in the biz.... Dodger (Steve), Josh & Norty from MyVirtualCard, Michael from Newbie Nudes, Adrian from CCBillEU and about half dozen (sorry, mental blank right this minute) others (BT and friends turned up late)... we picked like 15 girls from upstairs and partied like crazy fucks - stripped, sex on stage, simulated man love, whipped cream and shit, all the guys in their underwear and the girls with little until literally daybreak. I got back to the hotel at like 9am, with 2 girls in tow after their shift had finished. Adrian kindly kicked the can (that's just the way he is, and usually I would have not let him, but he is a rich little fuck outside of the biz.. he he.. love you dude), but my share was still like $3000. That's just me. And it also shows that I do the mad shit I do in public in private as well ... we enforced the strict "no cameras" rulke because of the marital status of some of the attendees.


Question #16
What the hell is rugby? What the hell is American Gridiron?

Rugby LEAGUE son, the greatest game of all..... An old aussie song ...... Whether you're on the cricket ground, lang park or the bush. You still gotta run, you still gotta tackle, And the scrums have got the same push, Ummmpppphhhh You're playing Rugby League football, The greatest game of all. I played rugby league from 8 years old to 18 years old. Enjoyed it immensely, but repeated shoulder dislocations meant I had to take a year off, or have a reconstruction, which then, 21 years ago, was not a walk in the park like today, so I took a year off. Or so I thought. 3 months into football season, I was GAGGING for it. And then came my excuse.. a story in the Daily Paper about a guy who wanted to start an American Gridiron competition. I had seen 2-3 Superbowls on TV (and that was IT), so I considered myself a somewhat expert and just KNEW that I could not possible hurt my shoulder in all those pads, and I rang the guy. 8 weeks later the first ever American Football game was held here. WITH NO PADS AT ALL !!! We played the first season, 4 teams, round robin, and never so much as wore a shin pad. FULL contact. CRAZY AUSSIES...... I played fullback and middle linebacker. I dislocated my shoulder 3 times again in that season, but I was firmly hooked. Played on and off for 7 more years as a linebacker (middle if I was fat and unfit, outside if was cut and firing) until my shoulder finally packed it in and off to the Orthopaedic Surgeon's knife I went. I played in the first ever Queensland and Australian teams, as first string linebacker and defensive captain, and won the first ever South Pacific Championship, played in Auckland in 1991. In my first season not playing I coached juniors (like your high school junior varsity/varsity in combination), and defensive coached the State Junior team to the first ever junior national title. Good memeories, all those. Well, not the surgery :-)


Question #17
Why did people call you 'the pale whale'?

People DON'T call me the pale whale. Many, many moons ago, some silly, misguided fools DID call me that. Usually from 100 yards away, running as fast as they could to get further away. Through primary and then into high school, I was a state level swimmer on and off. In my senior year at high school, I was the school senior swimming champion. Hence pale whale. I would remind GFY'ers that there is a standard Surgeon General's Health Warning issued as to the potential physical harm one may expose themselves to if they call CuriousToyBoy the pal whale.




Question #18
Discuss your boxing career in detail. Talk about martial arts and what you did.

Too much detail on shit like this is a self-serving wank IMHO, so I'll keep it brief. My old man was a National Service middleweight boxing champion, so one wekk after my tenth birthday (28 years, 51 weeks ago tommorow as it happens !!!), he dragged me kicking and screaming to the local Police Citizens Youth Club to be taight to box (The legal age for teaching a childs to box is 10). I fucking hated every goddamn fucking minute of it. Every second I could I'd piss off to the weight section of the gym, so I started lifting weights (by proxy) regularly when I was like 11 years old. Doctor said it would stunt my growth... yeah, like right mate !! Same doctor also said smoking would stunt my growth when I was 17. 2 for 2 dickhead. I got a new doctor. Anyhoo, I digress. So I boxed in the gym 2 afternoons a week in football off season and got to skip it altogether during football season when I got to dog it because of football practice. From age 10 to age 16 I NEVER got into the ring, even though I was offered literally dozens of junior amateur fghts, I flat-out refused to play the game. It had nothing to do with fear - shit, I'd already been suspended like 5 times from junior and school rubgy league for "striking" and "attacking the head of another player" and someshit, so I was always spoilong for a fight. I just wanted to piss Dad off. And still like today, I can one obstinate son of a bitch when I want to be. At 16 a bunch of my older mates (all my friends were older at high school - I have not one person that was in my year I keep in touch with from high school, never did) started this new fangled karate started by one Mr Bob Jones.... Zen Do Kai. Hindsight speaking: One big swinging dick iscovery Channel episode that has as much right being called a martial art in the SPIRTUAL sense of the word as a gang fight with pinchbars and baseball bats. AT the time I LOVED it, more because it pissed the old man to tears !! Now one advantage of my years of boxing was that I had learned to take a punch, more than one actually, even a lot when it was the older boys in the ring sparring with me. Remember here that I was 220 pounds when I STARTED high school, so i ALWAYS had the older boys sparring with me. This was a HUGE thing during gradings for belts, when you actually had to fight and/or spar with Sensei's (Teacher) and 2nd Dan black belts (the level above black belt and before teacher) from other Dojo's (schools). I could take a punch and I could give one back. And I did. So I graded VERY well and skipped levels on a number of occasions, so I rose to my black belt within 2 years (which you could do because of the way the thing was structured). Now Zen Do Kai was structured (allegedly) around the Bushido, or Japanese warrior code, hence, "The Way of The Warrior", and on achieving black belt, you got the "honour" of wearing the Bushido Cross on a necklace around your neck, and you were allowed to get the Zen Do Kai dragon tattoed under your left arm (inside of the bicep). I wore the chain and fuck you to the tattoo. I was already almost over it all. Anyway, I was 18, there was a fight, one of my good mates I played football with was in it, I took his back and joined in and we pasted a group of 4 guys, of which, being young, strong and full of cum, we were very proud of. But my mate fought out of another Dojo under a different Sensei, which was a bad thing. When I next turned up to train at Dojo, Sensei ripped the Bushido from my neck as punishment for my standing up for a mate, against the rules of the Dojo. SO I walked, and NEVER looked back. Let's now skip a couple of years as my life went through an "interesting" phase where there was lots of fighting, bloodshed and mayhem, but no organized training and pic it up when I was back on the right side of the tracks and decided to strat boxing training again So after I started back on the "straight and narrow" (well mainly) and moved to the Gold Coast for the first time. I decided to get into shape nand play football again, after a year's lay off, so I figured boxing was a good way to do that. I found a boxing gym in an old church hall, and off I marched, 4 days a week. I'd be training there for about 3 months when the trainer cam to me and said, "I'm promoting a State Title fight night in 6 weeks time and need a couple of heavyweights for the undercard, you up for it." I say no, that I just trained, I don't fight. He said, "Shame, I paying $1500 for 3 x 1 minute rounds. I said, "A$nd what time did you want me there?" So that was the start of a short, but interesting profesiional boxing career. I could literally write in for 10 more pages about them, but I won't. Suffice to say: I lost that first fight on points because I lost all ring craft and wanted to street fight. It was apt that my first pro fight was on Saturday 1 April 1989. That got me mad, and I wanted to prove to myself as much as everyone else that I had it in me. I trained like a motherfucker. If you can imagine it, I fought my first fight at 120 kilograms (240 pounds), I fought my 2nd at 90 kilograms (just on 200 pounds) ONLY 8 WEEKS LATER. My 2nd fight won on knockout in the first round. 3rd fight, won by knockout in the 2nd round. 4th fight, the LUCKIEST fight of my career. The bell for the first round sounded and he came out charging at me, really trying to bring it on to me early on. I faded left and he followed with a big right cross, now I knew it was going to hurt, but he was wide open if I dropped the right and hit with a huge uppercut, but I'd have to take the sting of the left. I put everything I had into the uppercut and as it connected flush on his outstretched jaw, and momentarily before his left hit me flush on the nose, I felt the bones in my right hand break from the contact. His left hit me and I staggered and felt the blood in my mouth and it sort of blinded me for a split second (as any nose punch does). When I blinked I saw his eyes. They were rolling in his head. He fell down in a sitting position on his ass, and then rolled over to the side and hit the canvas fully. Out cold. Thank fuck for that, because I had broken 2 bones in my hand (later X-Rays helped in that diagnosis) and they had to cut the glove off my hand after the fight. 5th fight, after a lay off while my hand healed, I was champing at the bit. By this time I thought I was king shit and had a real shot at some title down the track. I fought a first timer (here I was after 4 fights thinking I was a fucking journeyman) and I cleaned him up TKO in he 1st round. SO now I am strutting around the place, thinking I am the next world heavyweight champion, training like a mofo, NOT drinking or taking drugs at all, and down to like only 10 cigarettes a day. I am the man, no doubt. Fight 6. I fought a REAL boxer. And the kid was good (he some time later won the Australasian Heavyweight Championship). I think the only reason I lasted all 8 rounds was he knocked me into next week in the forst 15 seconds of the fight. End of the fight they had to slit BOTH my eyelids with a razor blade to let the blood out and allow the eyes to open, I had to have 3 teeth reset by a dentist, my nose was broke (thank god for small noses), BOTH eyebrows were cut and the doctor stapled them, my lips were like Lionel Richies that had been in the sun for 4 days, I pissed blood for 3 days and my chest hurt to breath. My jaw has clicked on both sides ever since that night. Wisely, I retired. As a short CuriousToyBoy boxing career aside, as anyone noticed my left ear is all mongy and cauliflowered ? My trainer used to say I would have been a much better boxer if I has stopped blocking punches with the left side of my head. And that folks, was the SHORT version.


Question #19
How many points did you get in the webmaster basketball game in Phoenix?

Aha ha ! An easy and short one for a change... I was 0 / 1 from the field. Didn't play long because having had NO sleep, and still drinking Jaeger from the bottle as we drove halfway round fucking Tempe trying to find the courts, alcohol and drug induced cramps set in after a short amount of court time and that laid me out. Almost missed Dodgeball that first day as a result, but managed to come good. I did fuck up badly once with a pass that Rey Rey picked off and went full court drive. But I stayed with him (In am surprisingly fast and agile for a big guy), and sledged him the whole way down to the other basket, where he missed the layup. I NEVER give up and HATE people who do.


Question #20
Discuss your weight lifting - best benchpress. Steroids?

Like I said in the boxing question, I've pretty much lifted weights since I was 10/11 years old. I sort of stopped last 5 years because I bulk up too much, but if I drop another 40 pounds or so I may give some serious weight training a bit of thought. My best benchpress I will always remember because it was on my birthday when I was 24.... 445 pounds, 2 reps. Wouldn't be close now. I have NEVER taken a steroid in my life. Had plenty of chances, trained with loads of guys that did them and I had easy access to them if I wanted them. Just never felt the need. And anyone of the 100-odd peeps I must have picked up by now (from small models to Big Moe) will tell you I am still one strong SOB.


Question #21
What's it like as an Australian in a mostly North American and European industry?

It's actually had it's advantages. Even though I have been in this business for going on 7 years, I NEVER posted on a board, let alone even thought about going to a show until I had reached the point that I did not need to. By that I mean I had my own traffic, my own programs, my own business all sorted out and running well, so I could get on boards and go to shows AND BE MYSELF. I hate bullshit, and bullshitters, with a passion - my father always said, "Son, tell the truth and you only get in trouble once". So by the time I had contact with all you Septics and Canucks, and the Europeans I did not have to give a shit who I upset. That freedom meant I have made many good friends and acquaintances because, as I said earlier about my behaviour, it's not what you do, but what you do and with what intent that counts. So if people see you are genuine and that you are REAL they warm to you as a person not as a business subject. I remember well the FIRST person I met in a party environment at a show - it was ACE (Mark) from NaughtyAmerica, and I am sure he will not mind me telling this story. We were waiting for a drink and we both said "hi" and shook hands. Ace (as Ace does) then reached for one of his business cards and went to give it to me. I said, "Mate, can you shove your busines card up your bum, you aren't going to give me your traffic and I'm not giving you mine, so let's just get hammered and have a good time." He looked shocked for a second and then smiled and said, "Hell Yeah", and we have be fine mates ever since. Now I still haven't done any business with NaughtyAmerica, but that day is soon to come, and I will have no hesitation to do whatever deal Mark proposes and shake hands and do it. And that's the way I like to do business. The downside was all the bad press in the days of old from the last generation of Australian operators, when they dominated the world internet marketplace for a time. I know all those guys, some well, some not well, and with some clear exceptions they did very little to help me get to where I am today. Now people know me (even if just from photos and reputation) dealing long distance with someone you have not met is pretty easy. Personal referrals both ways go well. What's great now is the Aussies are on the rise, and they are also on the planes. I could not believe how many Aussies were in Phoenix .. I counted 25. It's a small world these days.


Question #22
Who do you look up to in online adult? Down on?

I don't look up or look down as such on anyone. People are people - each has their own idiosyncracies, their own good points, their own bad. I never view anyone as being above not below me, just different. SOME being more different than others. What does make the difference is to me what it is all about - respect. The list of peeps I respect is long, so I'll try and keep it down, but when these people talk, I listen..... Ben @ LionDollars.... has the rare ability to set a plan and drive it to fruition. He also knows how to attract and keep the best people. A true entrepreneurial mindset and a truly well-life-balanced character. Mayor.... a man of similar strengths to Ben. Does not lose focus on the big picture, but conversely can pick missing micro pieces and fill gaps accordingly. Lensman.... an adult business actuary. Works the numbers better than most would ever dream to in any insurance underwriter, but does it with tits and ass. Goes to show, a widget is a widget is a widget. ScottPB.... quite simply one of the smartest men I have ever met. Apart from the obvious brain implosions, blazed a trail that many of us now gladly and happily follow. Serge.... no list complete without a man who was smart enough to understand the NEEDS OF THE PEOPLE without having to get hung up on anything technical. B2B pioneer. Nickatilynx.... few can claim to have been able to successfully morph and evolve along with the environment that surrounds us for so long, so successfully... especially on both business and personal levels. Juicy.... there is NO such thing as bad publicity. None. Nada. Nil. ;-)


Question #23
Post pics of your houses/real estate. What kind of car(s) do you own?

When I am actually in Australia, and then only some of the time, I spend time at http://www.palmspringsresidence.com.au. The Robert Kyosaki school of thought teaches us that your own home is not your biggest asset, but your biggest liability. I own shit. Go figure. And if you need to go figure that would say you have never been divorced, sued or had asshat business partners. I am a mere contracted administrative assistant for an international legal firm in Brunei Darrusalem.


Question #24
How many people have you had sex with in your life? How many conscented?

The absolute honest answer to this question is more than any one man should ever sleep with. Better to maybe put some points of perspective..... - I've probably had more 3'somes, 4'somes and moresomes than 99% of people have had sexual partners of any description in total. - I lost my virginity at 12, not that there was any real point, as it was a matter of "stick it in and wiggle around until you get bored". - First time I ever ejaculated was during sex, and at that exact minute I thought I was going to die, or go blind or my dick fall off, or all of the above. - In 9th Grade (14 years old) I had a 6 month affair with one of my classmates mother's who was 30. I have a hard time reconciliing this as child abuse, because fuck if it wasn't an amazing 6 months !!! - I still have an interest in the biggest swingers club hereabouts, http://www.mikesplace.com.au, and although I am not a swinger by lifestyle choice, I do what I feel like doing when I feel like doing it. - Apart from the previous story, I have slept with women for money in my younger days on numerous occasions. - I have slept with I think 7 different girls IN FRONT of the production camera, when situations required that of me in my early production days. This does include numerous POV type shoots. - Yes I have been known to pay for prostitutes. Why? On many occasions I simply could not be bothered with all the bullshit that comes with one-nighters or irregulars (ESPECIALLY within our industry), and I point blank refuse to wake up next to someone that I do not want to wake up with. As a sidebar, I have never slept with a man, nor I have I ever forced myself on anybody. And at a youthful 39, I've still got a few more left in me yet. J-Reel has the recent pics to prove this Plenty to go around people. But the shop would shut forever if the right person came along.


Question #25
What places have you lived in during your life? Where do you live now? Why?

Born and bred in Brisbane, Australia. Had Sydney on and off when I was 18 and 19, the New Zealand for that short time when I was 20. Gold Coast in Queensland after that for a couple of years, then back to Brisbane. Did New Caledonia for 3 months on a work contract in mid-twenties. Fast forward through to early 30's and far outback Queensland and Norfolk Island held my residential status for a while each. A couple of months in Mexico for a seachange and then 6 months in the Philippines just to underscore life in the 3rd world. I "allegedly" live back on the Gold Coast now. I am hardly there often enough, or for long enough in any one stretch for that to seem anymore than surreal. I spend more time in the USA than anywhere else these days. It's like I go home to holiday in between shows. My life these days is a little the old Paul Young song..."Whereever I lay my hat, that's my home..."


Question #26
Do you have children?

Hmmmmmmm. SHORT VERSION, FUNNIER, BUT STILL GROUNDED IN FACT None that I know of. But seriously, one day I fully expect to get the knock on the door. When I open it, some boy/girl aged between say 5 to 23 years (less than 5, they wouldn't be able to find my place yet !!) would look up at me and say, "Dad ?". My answer would be "Probably.", followed by "Don't bother to tell me your mother's name, it most likely won't make it any simpler.", finally followed by, "Which kidney do you want ?". And that would be about that. LONGER VERSION, SOMEWHAT SCARY, BUT FULLY FACTUAL In my early 20's, at the height of my short, but illustrious career as a "pretend" boxer, I had also started some part-time nightclub security to keep myself amused and busy outside of my "vanilla" day job. Also at this one club I worked at was an gorgeous waitress, Rebecca, and her boyfriend, Tony, a New Zealand Maori who was one of my bouncer compatriats. He was also a total cock and he treated Rebecca really badly. Bec and myself flirted heaps, but it was always the flirtiness between a couple that would never come to any fruition becasie of circumstances... One night, well after midnight, there was a beating on the front door of the condominimum I lived in.... Rebecca with bag, tears streaming out of her eye, was there, standing at my door...... The following 6 weeks while Rebecca stayed with me consisted of little more than having sex in every possible permutation and combination ever devised either prior to, during and ever since the publication of the the "Karma Sutra" in every nook, cranny and crevice of the condo, and the occasional break while we waited for the pizza guy to arrive. One day I awoke and Rebecca was again standing in front of me, tears again streaming out of her eyes, and she told me she was going back to Tony. It wasn't as heartbreaking as one may think - ours was a purely carnal attraction and the relationship was never deeper than our last fuck. I didn't see her after that, what with us both not turning up for work at the club in the previous 6 weeks, and I just moved on. Sometime later I had heard on the grapevine that she was still with Tony and was pregnant. I paid no mind, but hoped she was well and happy. Fast forward about 18 months, and I was by thenworking my nice cushy Government job, when one of the counter girls comes into my office and tells me their is a girl at the counter asking to see me. Rebecca of course, was standing there, with a bundle in her arms. A little bundle, a baby. And a cute little tyke. She explained that her and Tony and the baby girl were moving back to New Zealand (where Tony, the Maori was from) and that they were getting married and Tony had a really good job lined up with his uncle's company, and that she was really looking forward to a new life and they would probably never see me again..... I admit, I was totally befuddled by the whole conversation. So, I sort of said "Ok, that's great", and asked how she'd been. She said she was great and that the little girl was now right on 18 months old and was healthy and great. We said goodbye and she left. I don't know whether it was 5 minutse after I returned to my office and sat down or 55 minutes when I started to think.... then I did the 18 month math.... then I realized that that the "baby bundle" has a shock of straight white blond hair and was fair skinned, HOT dark haired and dark skinned like her "father". Fuck me dead. Have never heard so much as a whisper since. She'd be 18 or so now. AS IT IS VERSION, DAY TO DAY REALITY BITES I broke up with my last girlfriend about 2 years ago. We had been together about 2 years. She had 2 marvellous kids, Nate (now 6) and Maddy (now almost 10). I stayed with Leisa for the last 1 1/2 months of our relationship for 2 reasons - Maddy and Nate. Biologically they may not been mine, but trust me, they are mine. Nate calls me Dad and Maddy, even though she calls me Lindsay, introduces me as her father. On both counts it was their idea to do so. Neither of their real fathers play much, if any, of a role in their lives. Maddy and I always hit it off, and a couple of years back, Nate broke his leg at Kindergarten, spent 2 weeks in hospital in traction, and then 2 1/2 months at home in a full body plaster cast. To say we bonded is the understatement of the century. He, I and Cartoon Network have an indelibile lifetime understanding. Luckily Leisa and I remain friends, and my access to the kids is totally unhindered. She even changed her will so that if anything ever happened to her, the kids come to me. They are my kids, I miss them terribly when I am away on my trips, and I spend as much time as possible with them when I back home. They are part of the package.




Question #27
Is there more money in gay or straight porn? What type of maketing makes the most money?

Let's get one thing straight right away GAY is NOT a niche !! Gay is a market in it's own right. Straight porn is a MUCH larger market in general terms. I don't think it's a case of there being more money is gay, but there IS more targeted money in gay. It has been long proven in marketing terms that gay consumers are smarter, more demanding, more loyal and have MORE disposable income and better credit than their straight counterparts. Even though the gay market is appreciably smaller overall than the straight market, there are less sites overall offering what the gay market seeks and also less webmasters marketing gay. Like any marketing problem, it is ALL about understanding your product and understanding your market


Question #28
How many shows do you attend a year? Do you fly coach, business or first class?

I have definitely been on an upward growth curve since I made the decision I did not need to go to shows for business, so therefore I could (see earlier post) .... 2004 - 1 Show Internext Florida 2005 - 5 Shows Internext Vegas Phoenix Forum AOE Prague Internext Florida LionDollars Amsterdam New Years 2006 - 15 Shows Planned Internext Vegas Costa Rica Bash Phoenix Forum Redneck Getaway Cybernet Expo Xbiz Summer '06 Forum Internext Hollywood Qwebec Expo - Montreal Vancouver Adult Show Webmaster Access Europe - Amsterdam YP Mexico - La Salina Gay Phoenix Forum Klixxx Island Gathering - Curacao Webmaster Access West - Los Angeles LionDollars Amsterdam New Years I see 2007 as being much the same as this year - planes, trains and automobiles for most of the year. I am one of the lucky people who sleep ANYWHERE, fuck I sleep that little in normal life (and I usually don't sleep more than a couple of hours a day at any show), I am almost narcoleptic if you can sit my ADHD ridden ass still for 5 minutes or more. For that reason, I usually fly coach. As a Gold Frequent Flyer, I generally get pretty well looked after and generally have no complaints. Last year, I did fly Business to Phoenix Forum. I slept 12 1/2 of the 13 hour flight, had NO meals and did NOT get to use the service at ALL !!! That sucked - if I fly Business, I want service, service, service. I have a bucketload of points of course, and I do occasionally upgrade a leg here and there. Luckily for me I quite enjoy traveling, but I do base myself in the States between shows where possible as the long haul shit does fuck you up after a while..


Question #29
How many people did you deliver newspapers to as a kid?

Ha ha ha. My work ethic and entrpreneurial bent showed themselves from an early age. I started delivering newspapers at 10 years of age. It was my first job. I earned 3c per newspaper and used to deliver between 70 and 100 every weekday afternoon after school. My route probably passed 300 houses, so I delivered to around 1 out if every 3 houses. I'd also sell about 10-15 additional papers for cash, which made me 10c each. I had a public works depot on my route that had afternoon "smoko" at 3.30pm, which if I followed my normal route, I'd get there aftre they had finished their break. I also had a handful of magazines to deliver, for which I made between 10c and 25c each to deliver, usually about 10 per day. So I had a thought. Over a 2 week period, I stopped in personally to every house on my route to let people know I delivered not just papers but magazines a well. I increased my newspaper distribution to about 150 day. My magazine delivery skyrocketed from about 10 to about 30 per day. Also, because I know had to return to the shop at least once to restock because of my successful upsales, I changed the way I did my route and took off straight to the works depot as first stop, which usually meant I was there waiting for them as they knocked off for their break - this meant I sold 10-15 extra newspapers each day as well. In short, a job that took me an hour and made me about $20 per week when I started, within a month. may have taken me almost 2 hours per day to complete, but was raking in a 10 year old boy an average of about $50 per week. The pushbike I used to do the deliveries was upgraded 3-4 times in the next 12 months. Glory days.


Question #30
Ever have any problems with customs officials and if so, in which country?

Which country DOESN'T have a problem with me is more the question !!! I am on 10 for 10 on my last 10 internal US flights to get the dreaded "SSSS". I just take it as a given now. Australian Customs love me. They empty the bags at least half the time when I get home and I have to keep saying "The Butterfingers and Baby Ruths are for the kids, NOT me". Because I am such a frequent visitor, my US visits are a bit like "Groundhog Day". The Spanish Inquisition is the norm. Yes sir. No sir. Three bags full sir. But the MOST fun I had standing up with a Customs service ? Hong Kong. In days gone by for a short period of time I used to run girls into and out of the prostitution rings on Macau. Macau is also a crime capital of the world - it's where all the bad boys go to play. Drugs, gambling, girls, you name it. EVERY-FUCKING-TIME into Hong Kong, it was into the room, strip naked, legs apart, bend over and ........


Question #31
What exactly did you do in the field of personal security?

When I went back to "normal" security work in nightclubs, pubs and the like I had some friends in the music industry. Concert promoters and other such luminaries were regulars and many became friends. Now, pre MTV, there was a day when international music acts did NOT travel with 200 person entourages and personal security that resembled the Chicago Bears offensive line. Local promoters had to provide hotel, transportation and backstage security for many touring acts. Over a period of time, I did personal security for (and obviously met in the course of) ... Phil Collins (wanted to push him in front of the van, not through the crowd to get into it, he was a total fucktwad) Bruce Springsteen (lovely guy, "Call me Bruce") ZZTop (awesome concert, followed by straight back to the hotel, NO after party, could not believe it) Billy Joel (nice guy and sensational performer - did security for him 3 times) Tone Loc (left the after party 3 DAYS after the concert !!!) REM (Michael Stipe is one WEIRD dude) I also did a whole raft of Aussie bands like Midnight Oil (MANY times), 1927, Party Boys, Australian Crawl, Moving Pictures, The Saints and others. Amongst that lot there are some stories, let me tell you I also did some private personal security work, looking after mainly Japanese businessmen, which was mainly well paid babysitting duty. There were a few times I also got to the plane ride.... They give you a loked briefcase (with papers), you get on a plane, fly to another country, clear customs, hand the bag over to others at that end, and turn straight back around and get the next plane home. Boring as all fuck but the pay was awesome - as were the frequent flyer points back in the early days of those schemes.


Question #32
Ever killed anyone? Ever put anyone in the hospital?

I am treating the first part of this question with the contempt it deserves. I have NEVER put anyone in hospital. If they have done so it has been of their own volition, or that of others. To put them there myself would sort of defeat the purpose in many instances, don't you think ?


Question #33
What exactly did you say to the fellow in Prague that wanted to fight you to make him go away?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. These days I HATE fighting with a passion, but if I have to, I ain't taking no backward step. But ONLY if I REALLY have to. Being the type of guy I am, I attract idiots and associated trouble like a powerful electo-magnet. In MOST places, by midnight, I will have a queue of dickheads lined up for their shot at some imaginery title - with me as the titleholder. In psychological terms, these guys are usually sad and bitter, and they want to feel as bad on the outside as they already do on the inside, so they seek guys like me out to serve that purpose. Over the years, I have developed numerous strategies and techniques to avoid having to put someone in their place, so to speak. "Mr Prague 2005" was particularly insistent. He REALLY wanted me to tear him a new asshole. Talking did not work, reasoning did not work, veiled threats just made him more keen to meet his maker. So a leant over really close to him and said ...... Mate, have a look a this head. What do I have to lose? It worked. Usually does. Because it is not a bluff.


Question #34
Discuss the kind of person that turns you on in detail.

Now this is not as easy a question as it may seem. One of the downsides of too much sex for too long with too many partners and it being too easy to procure is a certain "dulling" of the senses when it comes to all things sexual. I have pretty much only one erogenous zone left - it sits firmly between my ears - and a girl either gets my attention or does not. I am a firm believer in chemistry, there is something that clicks when you first meet someone, and that cannot be "learned" or "influenced" - it is either there or it is not. I cannot help that feel for people who say shit like "We were friends for years before we got together", because in my mind, they are "settling" for something they can have and have given up seeking what they could and should have. I suppose there IS a list of character traits that will make it more likely I will like someone, but it is more about the "package" deal and how that embraces my mind that dictates what "turns me on" as such. Many times sex, and especially paid for sex, is just a sign that one is too lazy to masturbate.


Question #35
Do you do drugs? Do you get drunk?

Yes I do drugs. Surprise, surprise, surprise. It shouldn't be really, I have always been open and honest about it. The point that must be made clear is that I DO DRUGS, DRUGS DO NOT DO ME. I probably don't do anywhere near as much as some may think I do, and I may do more than some expect. It is generally shows and party occasions, but I definitely do NOT need them to function. How can I say all of this so clearly and definitely ? Because there have been times in my life when I had SERIOUS drug problems, so I do well know the difference between recreation and an issue.... I have never been much for grass or acid or downers of most descriptions, but speed, coke and ecstacy fit my ADHD personality type. No smoking or injecting or any of that for me in this day and age - drugs enhance for me, do not detract and I HATE being out of control. There was a time when I used to boot speed through a pick in the corner of the eyes - right into the tear ducts. No blood, no mess, no track marks. I was out of control. I do drugs these days, they don't do me, and to steal a line from Wizzo's Ambush, "There is a time and a place for everything." When I drink, I drink ****A LOT****. But I don't drink all the time. I can go weeks without a drink, but then easily drink for 3 or 4 days straight without sleep or rest. Call it practice or call it training or just call it abnornal intenstinal fortitude. I am not a vomiter from alcohol nor drugs, never have been, never will be. If I am sick, there is a reason beyond that, and I stop, no question. At the end of the day I don't really need both - in fact I think others around me need me to do it more than I need it myself. I am a MUCH easier person to at least try and understand if people are able to justify my actions and behaviour by associating it with drug and/or alcohol use. Anyone who knows me at all knows that the more out of control I seem, the more in control I am. My good friend and doctor once said to me, after noting liver function tests that are still fine and well within acceptable limits despite the self-abuse my body receives from me, Lindsay, one day science is going to perfect a bio-engineered waster treatment system, and that system is going to be based on your liver." With the shit I have put in my system over the years, and for the extended periods I have done this, I should be long gone. But I will continue to be who I am and do the things I do until it no longer suits me to do so, OR until I think I need to change. In the meantime, I continue to march to the beat of my own drum. I should point out here that there are a couple of things I do NOT tolerate when it comes to drug and or drink: # 1 - I do NOT tolerate pressure being put on people who do not want to do or do anymore of anything, I RESPECT their rights fully. # 2 - I do NOT tolerate holier than thou attitudes about what I do - I will respect your rights not to do so if you will also respect my rights to do so. Each to their own. I am a firm believer in EVERYTHING in moderation, INCLUDING moderation.


Question #36
Has your exposure on Fubar with all the crazy pics helped or hindered your career?

I love JFK and I love FUBAR. My life and times in this industry, all the fun I am able to have, all the great people I spend time with, and the fantastic places I get to visit, they are now recorced for posterity. I love it. Not because of any ego issues, just because when I am old and crinkled and washed up (sometime after my 110th birthday I estimate), I'll have it all there to look back on and enjoy over and over again. Shit, my own Mom uses FUBAR to keep track of my travels and transgressions. If it's good enough for my mother, it's good enough for me. On a business level, Oscar Wilde once wrote, "The only worse about being talked about, is not being talked about." I think it could be irreversably damaging if the pics and antics depicted anything but me being me. People know me, they know what to expect, I don't hurt anyone in the process and it's all in good fun. If people don't like me it's because they don't like me anyway, not because I flashed my bare ass at some party. We are in the PORN industry remember, we should be puritanical in our views. SOME people around should remember that.




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